Psych Out

The ER

Samantha POV

That's how I ended up lying on this stiff hospital bed, staring at the ceiling with these way too bright florescent lights blinding me. But I could care less. I felt numb. Everything that just happened felt so unreal. 

I couldn't believe I was actually in the emergency room of the hospital. I've never been here before.

Harrison was useless as usual and told the officers everything I had just said and that I was going to go through with ending my life. Of course he left out his comment. And no one believed me after they had heard me scream crying through the door.

Now I was wearing blue paper scrubs in a room that was completely empty except for the bed I was laying on. There was a TV behind a thick glass panel, a single piece of art melded onto the wall, and absolutely no windows. A twisted tower made for a princess but that princess wasn't gonna be me. 

With the door closed, the room felt suffocating. I felt the walls closing in as I dug my nails into my hands to keep the panic at bay. 

A nurse walked in just as I was about to start flipping out.

"Hi honey, sorry to keep you waiting. Are you doing okay? Do you need anything?"

"Um, is it possible to leave the door open? I'm just feeling a little claustrophobic," I pleaded.

"Yeah I think that should be okay. Your room is right across the nurses station so we can keep an eye on you," she responded and I sighed in relief. 

"Thank you"

"Okay well the doctor will be in soon to talk to you about what happened and next steps, okay?" the nurse said as she turned to walk out of the room.

I was eager and filled with dread at the same time. I wanted to get out of here but I had a feeling I wouldn't be doing that any time soon. I just wanted to get this conversation over with.

I flipped through the 5 channels they had on the little TV to distract myself. News, news, news, Impractical Jokers, and news. Impractical Jokers it is. 

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I heard a gentle knock before who I assumed was the doctor walked into view. She was tiny but had a mighty and firm aura about her.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Hashan. It's nice to meet you Samantha. Can you tell me a little bit about why you're here?"

"Well...I had a bit of a breakdown. I just had a really bad day and my husband wasn't helping the situation," I replied.

"Your husband, Harrison is it? Told the officers you were threatening to take all of your medication and had told him you wanted to end your life," she said while shifting her feet.

"That's not exactly what happ-" I tried to get out before she interrupted me.

"The officers said they heard you screaming when they arrived and came inside to see you holding all of your bottles of medicine while crying," she urged. I could tell she had already made up her mind about the situation.

I decided to just stay silent. What was the point if no one listened? 

"Listen Samantha, based on your husband and the officer's stories and your current state, we're going to have to admit you to the psychiatric floor upstairs. Are you willing to go voluntarily or do we have to admit you involuntarily?"

"Voluntarily," I mumbled. This was such a joke. Of course this happens to me though.

"Okay good. I will let the nurses know and we'll get your sitter and transport upstairs as soon as possible," she said with an approving look on her face.

"Sitter?" I asked incredulously.

"Everyone who gets admitted upstairs with suicidal ideation gets a sitter or a one-on-one who accompanies you everywhere you go until the psychiatrist deems you able to be without one"

"Oh" I responded. I don't need a stupid babysitter. This doctor doesn't want to listen to me though so no point in trying to argue.

"Good luck Samantha," she said and walked out without a glance back.

Great. So now I have to stay here for who knows how long AND I'm going to be followed around everywhere I go by some stranger. What if they come with me into the bathroom?! That thought made me shiver.

I couldn't help but wonder why I got the short end of the stick in this situation. Everyone was believed over me and I got a doctor who didn't want to listen. Why me? Why?

I was so overwhelmed by emotions and it was getting late. I decided to shove it all aside and just go to sleep while I wait. It'll pass the time quicker and I can pretend I'm not in the situation I'm in.

I tossed and turned for what felt like an hour before a woman walked in. I could only assume was my nurse or my sitter.

"Hi! I'm Becca and I'm gonna be your sitter until the morning," she introduced herself kindly.

She seemed nice enough. I felt bad she was stuck trailing me around.

"Hi, I'm Samantha. Sorry, I was just trying to get some sleep-"

"Oh! Don't worry. I'll go grab a chair, you do your thing. I'll wake you up when transport comes to take us upstairs. In the meantime, get some rest. I'll just be here," she responded quickly and walked out of the room to find a chair.

Okay then. Kinda creepy to have someone watching me sleep. But I just can't be here right now so I'm gonna have to try my best. I laid back down and pulled up the scratchy sheet this place called a blanket. Before I knew it, I was finally asleep.