Be There (Troyler Oneshot)

Stay

May 4th

Today was the day that changed my life forever. And I never knew that until it was too late. 

If I could've went back in time, I would have done everything possible to have avoided getting out of bed. Done everything to avoid walking out the front door and running into him at the coffee shop round 22nd street. Maybe if I walked a little faster and didn't dwindle down to chat with the overly enthusiastic barista that made my drink I would've left before I set sight on him. Those mesmerizing eyes a mixture of every single colour imaginable. A deep ring of the darkest point at midnight, encircling flakes of emerald, gold, and silver. A kind of blue that's like electricity, kind of sizzling or smoking, yet at the same time it's like cold rain and icicles hanging from the roof on Christmas morning. It's also innocent and childish; effortlessly emitting a kind of excitement that can only be described as contagious and purely from the heart.

"Oh hello!" He squealed, grabbing my arm to steady me. "My name is Tyler Oakley! Didn't see you there, my apologies!"

Blushing furiously at my clumsiness I glanced up through my lashes at his cheery expression, wearily before quietly muttering, "it's a pleasure to meet you Tyler, I'm Troye with an 'e'."

"So Troye with an 'e' what are you doing today?" He askes scrambling after me as I try to make my escape out the crowded exit.

"I have work and I'm going to be late if I don't get there in the next five minutes."

"I can walk you! I have the day off. It's a nice day isn't it?"

He followed me everywhere. Everyday he met me at the front of the coffee shop chattering non stop as I hurriedly gulped down my bland coffee, and each night right at 5:45 he'd be waiting for me in the lobby of my office building to walk me home. It became almost like a habit, a daily routine. He'd meet me at the small corner table in the very back of the coffee shop each morning at 7:30 sharp and walked me home each day from work. Before he left me each day at the doorsteps of my house he'd ask me, "be there?" And I'd respond with a simple, half hearted "always." After all, where else would I be?

He became a nuisance really, so loud and energetic constantly talking up a storm, greeting everyone we crossed paths with enthusiastically. It was almost like being with an hyperactive child, but something about his presence soothed me and brought a feeling of joy into my repetitive life. He was so unpredictable, like birthday gifts from your best friend. Long awaited and always wholly appreciated. I wish I learned to cherish his presence earlier, but I also wish I'd never met him. never let him into my life.

+ + +

June 15

It was the morning that shattered my dreams.

It was ten days after my 20th birthday, and I've never felt so broken, so empty and drained of hope. It's like a heavy fog of uncertainty and dread hanging over my head constantly reminding me that I'm broken and worthless; that I'm not good enough. After all if I was good enough, why would he have left me? Luke has been part of my life for three years and every single day in those short three years have been magical. Perfect. Flawless even, and when he left me that morning; storming out the house his eyes like gaping, empty sockets stripped of life. Like a seemingly endless tunnel, reflecting neither light nor emotion. And yet, when I last looked into his eyes, I felt somehow pulled by an unknown force... seeing a sad, pleading soul on the wall behind it. A ripped painting, a mistreated soul; a broken doll.

"Why?" I pleaded desperately over and over again, my chest aching with a dull burning sensation; a feeling that I later on discovered as heart break.