Bound by Shadows

18

"He'll be fine," Tadashi's voice sounded strained from the heated argument with Zavian over the chosen route Caelus and I took.

It was supposed to be secured and guarded but someone was clever enough to take his men out and outsmarted us.

We hurried to a nearby hospital, later discovering it was co-owned by my brother. He entrusted us to his friend Nicholas, a skilled surgeon who personally operated on Caelus.

Even though Zavian detested Caelus more than anything, I couldn't ignore the way his face went pale when Caelus collapsed. There was a hint that, despite the loathing, some part of him still cared.

"You don't know that," I responded, taking a seat in the private room generously provided by Nicholas. Despite him skillfully extracting the bullet and stitching up Caelus hours ago, the situation was critical with the bullet impacting an artery. "We've waited too long."

Fortunately, the incident wouldn't reach the police, as everyone present had been discreetly paid to keep silent. Most of them were loyal cops already under Zavian's command, making the situation more manageable.

I observed the steady rhythm of his chest rising and falling, ensuring his breath was steady. He appeared defenseless, a sight unfamiliar to me. His lips, pale and chapped, but still carried a returning flush to his cheeks.

Regrets flooded my thoughts; numerous choices I wished I could take back. I should have known what awaited us.

Each blink felt like my eyes were scraping against gravel. I had cried endlessly, the tears now dried up, leaving me with none left to shed.

I yearned to hear his voice.

In that moment, I earnestly considered the possibility.

Embracing my memory loss was the only shot we had. Why didn't I think of this sooner? Why was I so focused on getting answers I was afraid of?

This was our second chance, a gift to wipe the slate clean. We could've start afresh if I hadn't been so focused on finding out what happened. Well, fuck, I don't care anymore. All I know and want is to see him come back to me.

"Need some coffee?" Tadashi yawned from the foot of the bed, and I nodded as he headed out to get some.

In the quiet moments of collecting my thoughts, the shuffle of sheets snapped my gaze to his face. Finally, I drew my first full breath since he collapsed—his eyes were open.

"You're awake," I sighed, relief washing over me. I stood and closed the short gap between us and his hospital bed.

My eyes widened as he pushed himself to sit, wincing and gripping his shoulder. "Take it easy; moving too much might reopen the stitches," I nagged, helping him as support.

"I'm fine." His hand found my arm, and he finally looked up at me, our faces just inches apart. "Are you hurt?"

"Worried about me? Look at yourself. I thought I was going to lose you," the confession slipped out as he woke. Aware that I was pushing my luck, given what he'd been through, he suddenly avoided my gaze, looking away, and I immediately missed the warm touch of his hand. "What's wrong?"

He remained silent for a moment. "Aren't you afraid of me?"

The thought nearly choked me. I understood what he meant—the men he had hanged, mutilated, and the carvings. "No," I blurted out. "I know it's messed up, but no, I'm not afraid of you. I swear this isn't Stockholm syndrome talking," I composed myself before continuing, "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not," he responded.

Liar.

He wasn't making this easy, so I will. "You're acting like you're too scared to hurt me," I said, looking into those eyes I adore. "You want me. And no, not just in bed, but I see it every time we lock eyes like this. You go out of your way to cater to my likes. Instead of roses, you bring daffodils, changing them when they wither because you know how much I love them. When I was upset about not getting closure, you started opening up, even though it's hard for you. You also told me you can't imagine a life without me, and gods, neither can I. I know you avoid touching me, fearing I'll regain my memories and regret it, but newsflash, I don't regret a single thing with you."

His jaw flexed, but he didn't deny it.

"So, let's move forward. We can start over. Forgive yourself. I already have, so stop telling yourself things I haven't said. I know it's scary, but we can't let fear come between us, right? Take, for example, overcoming the fear of fucking me. It felt good, didn't it?" A lighthearted remark slipped from me.

He raised his brows, his face contorting into an amused expression. A smile graced his lips, and I couldn't resist cupping his cheek, giving him a peck on the lips. When I pulled away, those hungry eyes returned, a look I'd rather avoid at the moment.

"Could you please climb on top of me so I could fuck you?"

My cheeks heated with mortification, and I forced myself upright, swallowing to keep my thoughts in check. "No, your health comes first, and that's the last thing to do on the checklist. For now."

He groans making me chuckle but he grabbed my hand with his good arm, leaned his cheek over my palm, closing his eyes.

I felt the roughness of his stubble and his breath, as if he was breathing me in. "I don't deserve you," I was about to nag at him again, but he said, "But I am going to hold onto you as long as you let me."

"Deal."

He kissed my palm, and just as he was about to speak, the door slid open, revealing Tadashi with two styrofoam cups of coffee. "I didn't expect you to be up so soon," Tadashi smirked and strode in, handing me my cup. "How did it feel to get shot for the first time?"

Caelus remained unfazed by the sarcasm, but my eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my sockets. "This is your first time being shot?" I had never seen a gunshot wound on him, or any wound at all. He had always been unscathed, but it was still surprising given his line of work.

Tadashi chimed in, "Well, at least that can be a trophy for you to look back on. Getting shot to save the love of your life is a flex."

Both of us turned to Tadashi, realizing the lack of humor, and he raised both of his hands, still holding a cup in one. "What? While I was back home in Tokyo, I was shot in places that nearly killed me," he took a sip of his coffee, then abruptly lifted his T-shirt, revealing a massive dragon tattoo.

It spanned from his chest to his abs, scales shimmering with vibrant colors, featuring piercing eyes and intricate details. There were splotched areas, the scars of bullets. Not one, but three of them, which I spotted. I'd only seen the tattoo on his upper arm before, so witnessing his entire body inked was unexpected.

"I did some pretty messed up shit, but I guess it was worth getting shot at," Tadashi looked down at his own scar, estimating the size difference with Caelus's wound.

"Nothing is worth getting shot at," I remarked. "What did you even do?"

"I ran away from a fight I started," he shrugged.

"You might want to cover up before I add another bullet there," Caelus warned, and seeing it, I smiled. Jealousy.

"Be my guest," Tadashi stuck his tongue out, obviously enjoying the teasing, but he immediately pulled his shirt down when Zavian walked in with Stella stowed behind him, their faces grim.

"This is not the time to celebrate, Hudson," Zavian gave him a dirty look, though relief was evident behind them. "The Japanese and Koreans will be landing in New York in a few hours."

Caelus's face remained unreadable.

"So what does that have to do with him?" I asked, my expression shifting to one of disapproval as I pieced it together. "No, you're not going anywhere."