DISCLAIMER/ TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter does contain a flashback of Jamel's addiction after he suffered a close loss.
The following contains: - death - alcohol abuse (addiction) - drug abuse (addiction) - sexual assault - prison/ rehabilitation
If these are triggers for you I would recommend you skip this chapter or scroll until you see the following: (FLASHBACK END) (Present)
So I will repeat this is a trigger warning and a disclaimer for those who maybe triggered by the things listed above. Please don't read if it is something that you are easily triggered by. ________________________________
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(Jamel's POV)
One of the hardest things to talk about within my therapy sessions is my grandma. I had lost my grandma who was my world, right at the beginning of last year. She was the first person who I went to for everything, when I first got my job, when I told her about my crush on Taniyah, then when I dated her, she would give me advice on my relationship, on saving up and just anything in life. She was my mother, she was everything that I wanted my real birth mamma to be. So when she passed away I just didn't know how to cope and deal with it. Instead of seeking help I became dependent on alcohol which later on introduced me to hardcore drugs.
(Flashback - TRIGGER WARNING)
*Phone rings*
"Hello"
"Hi is this Jamel Michaels"?
"Yeah who speaking"?
"Hi, Jamel we are calling from San Deno's hospital"
"Okay....is there something wrong with my grandma"?
"...Jamel I am sorry to say this but your grandma has passed away.."
"What, stop playing"?
"I am really sorry for your loss"
The words..that I heard I couldn't believe it my Grammy is gone, gone forever. Deep down I knew she wasn't going to make it because day by day her illness had beaten her and she became way worst, however I still had little hope that Grammy would fight through it. Whole entire time Grammy had stopped fighting a long time ago and she just wanted to rest in peace. That night was the day I had changed completely.
I heavily drank and drank non- stop trying to intoxicate the pain out of my body. My head was banging on a different type of level and my body felt so light. I rolled up about 10 spliff's inhaling over and over again within a short amount of time but the pain was still there. So I drank some more, mixing whites with browns.
