ʙᴀᴅ? |ᴍɪɴꜱᴜɴɢ

✿ 23 ✿

Jisung walked until he reached the only spot which gave him comfort anymore. The park.

He didn't know what he was feeling; maybe it was anger, sadness. He couldn't say.

All he knew was that he refused to go back and face chan and minho. At least for a couple hours.

Jisung layed on the slide, occasionally glancing up at the stars every now and then.

Thought about everything and nothing, until his mind wandered to a memory of him and his dad.
His missed his father dearly and wondered how he was doing, wherever he was at.

Jisung stood up and brushed off his clothes, letting his feet and mind lead his path again.

Now he was at the cemetery.
Jisung knew where his father and mother was buried, but he was too consumed with the guilt of not attending their funeral. So he never had the courage to see them, until now.

He went and kneeled at his mother's grave first.
Jisung couldn't let out a sound because he had tears painting his cheeks.

He took a deep inhale, "M- mom, have you been well? I know that we had our misunderstandings but I would kill to sit and talk to you again. I don't care if the next second I'll be receiving a smack, I just miss you so much, and I'm sorry if I was a bad child, mom.."

He collapsed further into the ground and hugged her tombstone. Jisung didn't know how long he stayed laying there 'fore he went to his father's grave next.

Jisung once again stooped down, dusting off the dirt and build up that accumulated over the years.

"Hi dad. I missed you and finally pushed myself to come see the both of you. I just talked to mom; do you think she misses me? Or that she regrets the harsh things she's said and done?"

He sighed and wiped his hands on his clothes before moving into a sitting position.

"Things haven't been the best but it's better than what it was. I met someone named chan who practically saved me and now we're living together. Oh and also Minho, but I'm upset with both of them at the moment, so I won't say anything else."

He let go of a breath he was holding.

"I don't know what else to say. I figured I should've came here when, when I have myself together but."

"Anyways—" jisung got up and brushed the sand off his bum, "—I'll come back some other time, If I don't chicken out like always. I love you both.."

Leaving the cemetery was simultaneously suffocating, but freeing for him.

It felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulders, but not completely.

He was proud of himself for doing it after so long though. And that's what matters.

~

Jisung was greeted with a crushing bear hug, the moment he slipped his shoes off.

He smelled the scent of the person engulfed around him.

"Chan," he tapped the man's shoulder, "you're gonna injure me more.."

"Just a few more moments, I thought you did something stupid, jisung you were gone for six hours. The thought of losing you is scary yet unimaginable. So let me just hold you."

He hugged the older back, "I'm sorry. I needed to get-"

"Don't apologize for wanting some much needed space, yeah?"

"Okay.." jisung whispered out.

"And I'm also sorry for not letting you in on the full thing, it's just that you've never asked and looked like you were getting better so I didn't say anything."

"It's fine hyung.."

Chan stepped away from their embrace to smooth down jisung hair.

"Have you been crying ji?"

"Mhm, but it's not a big deal, I'll tell you in the morning."

Chan hummed and let it go, for now.

"Where's Minho?"

"He left, said he had to visit the hospital."

"Oh.. okay."

a/n: fooking hated that. And ngl, I forgot Abt this book and the plot...
So stay tuned ig for whatever tf my brain stirs up in the near future.

—nya