This Side Of Paradise (13 reasons why)

Tape 1, Side A

A/N- when the tapes are talking it'll be italic with a little * and then for like "flashbacks" if thats what it's called, itll be bold with a ~. understood? great! enjoy ;)

Y/N POV

I just dropped the tapes off at Clays house. I'm worried, I know he isn't going to take it well and think it's his fault. It's not.

Zach was sitting with me in his car as I stared at the box I had just dropped off on the Jensen's front porch. "It's not his fault, he doesn't deserve to be on those, he won't understand. It'll ruin him." I explain with tears filling my eyes.

"Hey" I hear as Zach grabs my hand. "It's okay, we are all in this. He will be alright." He explains, trying to comfort me.

"But it won't be alright. I need to just give them to Bryce, we have to skip Clay. What if some-" I start but get cut off.

"Don't waste your time on what ifs. Hannah would want him to listen. It's for the best, it'll play out how it's supposed to go." He explains while still holding my hand.

Zach and I have been hanging out a lot more than we used to, and that is saying something because we used to hang out a lot. I think I am starting to like him but my boyfriend died a couple months ago and I am still trying to process it, also Hannah's death is stacking on top of it, and I really don't want Zach and I's friendship to be ruined if it were to become something more. I'm not even sure if he likes me anyway.

*Hey It's Hannah, Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust this on your - whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo.

No return engagements, No encore, and this time, absolutely no requests.*
—
I was walking near Hannah's locker when I saw Justin talking to Clay, he looked mad. But more than mad, he looked tired, he looked like he hasn't slept, which I know he hasn't because I've been awake too. But he is really showing it.

"Do you even know my name?" I hear Clay question Justin.

"Of course I do, Clay. What you think I don't know Y/n's old friends? You think it's not your fault right" I get closer to say something but before I can speak someone interrupts.

"Guys. Second bell." Mr. Potter starts, while looking at the three of us. "Get to homeroom. Now." He demands. Justin gets pissed and slams his hand on the locker, causing me to jump a little.

"Sorry." I say to Clay, "He's just not feeling good." I explain as we walk to homeroom.
—
Mrs. Bradley is speaking but I don't think anybody is really paying attention. My head is rested on my hand as I just stare at the clock on the wall.

"Mrs. Bradley, is it possible we could be done with all this? Its been a week — isn't it healthy to like, move on?" I hear Pratters blurt.

I hear a lot of chattering as I look over to him and scoff. "Seriously Pratters?" Everyone stops talking. "You're fucking insensitive, it's disgusting." I finish while he looks at me, annoyed.

Mrs. Bradley started talking about the signs of someone that needs help. I look up and see quite a few kids, even my friends, looking at me as she talks about it, as if it relates to me.

I look around and give a few confused glances to people and most of them looked back down at their desks, except for Clay. I stare back at him for a second before looking back down to my desk.
—
I still had Tony's Walkman he let me borrow from when I listened to the tapes so I decided to go to his house to give it to him, mainly because I wanted to get out of my house and go on a little walk, also I have no gas money for my car.

Tony Padilla, one of my best friends, I have a lot of those, but trust me I don't use that term loosely. Anyway, Tony and I have always been pretty close, we used to hang out at least once a week, if not, more. Recently, after Jeff's death, and now Hannah's, I have been pretty distant, even though he is the only one I would run to if needed. I just don't want to seem like a burden to anyone, so I keep to myself.