Desire, Drugs, & Destruction - Rafe Cameron

~5~

I walk into the room, the scent of faint musk and saltwater fill my nose, the moonlight gleaming on my face. Once I realize I'm not in Sarah's room, I quickly shut the door, accidentally slamming it. "Shit!", I whisper yell to myself. The door creeps open, a tall boy peeping through the crack of the door. 

The intake of the amount of alcohol I drank hit me. My head spinning, I try to stand up without stumbling but end up falling to my knees. 

This is embarrassing. 

"What the fuck River", Rafe says as he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder. The sudden and swift movement caused me to gasp. 

"How much did you drink. And how much more is left." He questions, walking back to Sarah's room. I think about how long I was downing that bottle. "I think I only took 5-6 shots... at once", I say, slurring my words. "Of what." "Tito's."

"Why didn't you invite me and Myles." The fuck?

"You're not a girl. You wouldn't understand." I say with a grin on my face.

We get to Sarah's door and he swings it open, Sarah drunk on the floor, and Kie spilling her pink lemonade Smirnoff. "I found your little friend." He says as he gently takes me off his shoulder, still holding me up so I don't fall. "Myles!" The boy calls out to his younger brother, causing Sarah to panic and quickly jump onto her feet, "Shut the fuck up! You're gonna wake everyone up Rafe!" 

Rafe laughs, "Nobody's here Sarah." He rolls his eyes, "Ward, Rose, and Wheezie left earlier today to go to Nassau." Myles walks into the room, "Oh so we're drinking again?" Kie rolls her eyes, "We didn't invite you guys." 

Rafe ignores her and walks over to the accent table next to Sarah's dresser, which holds the numerous amount of alcohol bottles. 

I stumble over to the white shaggy chair in the corner of the room, plopping onto it with little to no control over my body. 

He grabs the Tito's and starts downing what's left. Just how I did. 

I watch his adams apple bob up and down until the bottle empties. "Woo!" Rafe says while making a face at the vodka, making me remember the taste and gagging. As much as I hated tasting how bad vodka or tequila was, I still drank, not caring since the more you drink, the less you taste it. 

Myles, the older brother of Sarah grabs a cup, all of the alcohol we had and makes 'Jungle juice' 

"Dude that shit gonna be radioactive" Rafe says as he grabs another bottle, chugging it before moving onto the next. 

"That's the fun part" Myles replies to the boy, finishing making his drink. "Are you guys going to leave or what's going on" Sarah begins "I can't have you two fuckers in here, Rafe your room is bigger we should just go there." Kie nods her head, agreeing with Sarah. 

"Fine grab all the bottles let's go" 

We all grab the numerous amounts of alcohol bottles and move to Rafe's room. I need more alcohol. I think to myself as I slowly walked into his bedroom, the familiar smell hitting my nose once again. 

I plop onto his bed on my face as he turns the lights on and locks the door. 

"Tired, River?" Myles questions me, sitting onto the bed next to me as he sips his cup of various vodkas. "My bed is always availabl--" Sarah cuts him off, "Ugh Myles! Do you always have to be a horny little shit?" 

He laughs and starts downing his drink. I watch him as he stops and turns to face me. The blonde boy holds out his cup to me, "You want some beautiful?" 

I don't even respond before I snatch his drink out of his hand, finishing it without making a face due to the drunkenness.

 Myles stares as Kie walks over and swats his arm. "Fucking perv." Sarah scoffs and sits onto his couch, a drink in hand. 

I knit my brows together as I finish the awful concoction Myles offered me. 

I get up and throw the cup into the trash bin, Rafe's eyes never leaving me. "I'm going to the bathroom don't miss me too much." I smile and walk over to the door, opening it before walking into the dark hallway. 

I reach the bathroom and open the door, turning the lights on as I'm stepping in. 

I shut the door behind me and look at myself in the mirror. My hair's a mess I think to myself as I search the bathroom for a hair brush. I scan my eyes over to the drawer under the sink and open it, finding a brush. 

Thank God. I start to brush my hair and in my peripheral I see the door knob turning slowly. The fuck?

A tall dirty blonde boy stands. "Are you okay?" He asks as I continue to brush my hair. I let out a small "Mhm" before he creeps in, shutting and locking the door behind him. Confused, I look at him with an eyebrow raised. "Do you remember me, River?" He asks, his eyes turning a dark blue as they were just light. His pupils overly dilated for someone who's just had alcohol.

"Maybe, maybe not" I tease, trying to hide the smile creeping up on my face. "Do you remember enough to know we were each other's first kiss?" 

"We were nine, Rafe." I say, setting the hairbrush down. "Did you get your virginity taken yet."

"What the fuck? Why are you asking me this." I blurt out, not knowing why he'd ask me something so personal. 

"Just wondering." He smirks and I turn to him, looking up at him hovering over me. 

"It's not like you're gonna be fucking me so I don't know why it matters." I say, rolling my lips into a thin line, turning back to the mirror that stands before me. 

He leans down to put his lips near my ear and quietly whispers, "Then who will?" 

"Nobody. I don't give myself out like that." I respond, pushing past him to get to the door. He then pushes himself back to where he was, barricading the door. 

"And why's that princess?" My stomach churning with nervousness and the alcohol---mostly the alcohol. I don't let people have that effect over me nor do I allow people to manipulate me into having sex with them. Not again. 

I've learned over the past few years that it's useless to give your body out, I'd rather do it with someone I have a deep connection with, spiritually. Someone I know is going to stay. Not just some guy at a party or some hot guy (Rafe) while we're drunk. 

"Because, only someone I know would stay."

"I will." 

No you won't. Anyone who's ever stayed or tried to stay is stupid. I hurt them, just as I was hurt. The abused become the abusers. Not physically, but I mentally hurt the people I love, unintentionally. 

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RAHHH

I lowk like how this coming along let me know your thoughts. And give recommendations !!