𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠 𝑂𝑓 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑎𝑠𝑡 | ( 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 )

23

After two months, 
 
When Kanat woke up in the morning, he had a severe headache. It felt like someone was stabbing him in the head. He barely got up and went to the bathroom. Taking deep breaths, he composed himself and then started getting ready for work. 
 
Ekim was behaving strangely for a few days. She was in her third month of pregnancy. Kanat, therefore, did not ask for anything more. He got ready, went to the office, and started living his daily routine. But there was no reduction in his headache. He was sitting and working when his secretary came. "Sir, your meeting is going to start in two minutes.” Kanat smiled and nodded, then got up to go out. As he approached his table, something ran down his nose. He put his right hand on his nose, and there was blood. Kanat looked at his two fingers in surprise. His secretary was waiting outside. But he started feeling dizzy.

He rested his hands on the table and composed himself for a few moments before picking up his coat and leaving the room. His secretary was trying to run after him. Kanat went to his car, and as soon as he sat down, the car started. In a few moments, the car was out of his company's premises.
 
Kanat was deep in thought. He didn't know how to tell Ekim all this. What he feared was what was recorded on the report. He exhaled deeply and looked at the deep blue sky. The evening shadows were getting darker. He stood up with broken legs and then adjusted his tie. After buttoning the upper buttons of his shirt, he picked up his coat and headed towards his car. 

Ekim was standing in front of the mirror, measuring her stomach. She was wearing a top and trousers. When Kanat entered the room, his first sight fell on Ekim. Ekim's face looked very happy. All colours of happiness appeared on his face. Kanat exhaled deeply and then threw his coat on the bed. 
 

“Don't spread your stuff like that.” As Ekim's scolding hit his ears, he quietly picked up his coat and then headed for the bathroom. “The next appointment is this Thursday; will you come?” Ekim asked Kanat. Kanat closed the bathroom door and then picked up his phone from the side of the bed.“I don't think I can come, Ekim!” Kanat replied softly. Ekim looked at his face. Kanat's face looked pale. “You don't need to work so much, Kanat! Aziz and Riza Bey are also there; let them do it!” Ekim said this while examining Kanat's face. Kanat did not say anything but sat on the sofa near her. Ekim realized that something was about to go wrong. She swallowed hard. She's palms were becoming sweaty. “Ekim.... Actually....” Kanat started to speak. He took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. “What's the matter? Tell me clearly,” Ekim said angrily, but deep down she was scared. “Forgive me!” Kanat said softly. His voice was broken. Ekim looked at Kanat in surprise. “I want to apologize for everything I did to you.” Kanat finished speaking, and tears streamed down his face. "Kanat, tell me the truth!” Ekim said it angrily. Her eyes were red. “Ekim,” Kanat said and fell silent. Then he spoke after a few moments. “If anything happens to me, always treat my daughter as your own daughter; never hurt her or punish her for my actions.” There was no abatement in Kanat's crying. “Stop your fucking speech and tell me the truth about what's going on here!” She put her hand on her belly. “I... I have a brain tumour!” He finally exploded a bomb on her head. Ekim looked at him in shock. “And tomorrow is my surgery; I don't know if I will make it or not; doctors are not sure about anything.” He explained everything. “You are kidding, right? You are making fun of me or you are trying to see how much I care about you or not, isn't it, Kanat?” Ekim asked with hope. “No, it's not like this, Ekim; I'm telling you the truth." I don't know if I will be alive in the next days or not.” He was still looking down. He didn't head up in all the conversation. “What do you want from me, Kanat?” She asked finally.
“Will you be there for me during surgery? It will start in the morning tomorrow. I want you to be there. And... And if I didn't make it, then please forgive me; I bear so much pain for my acts towards you. He looked at her with hope.” Ekim didn't reply. She just nodded and stood up. Her head was spinning. The man she loved was telling her that he would die soon. “Ekim. Wait, listen.” Kanat felt that she wasn't in her mind and tried to stop her, but she cut him off. “I will be there!” She said it sternly and left the room. She went to the room they decorated for their new one. Once again, she was feeling like she didn't deserve to be loved. This word was not made for her. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. She was standing behind the door, and her hands were on the doorknob. “Ekim, open the door! Ekim, what are you doing here? Open the door, please!” Kanat was knocking on the door. Ekim opened her eyes and wiped out her tears. After composing herself, she opened the door. Kanat was looking at her with concern. “Nothing; just looking at some stuff and toys.” Ekim said and tried to walk by his side, but Kanat grabbed her arm and pushed her back to the room. He locked the room and turned to her. Their eyes were red, and their faces were pale. They were feeling the same thing but were scared to tell each other. Kanat cupped her face in both palms. “Ekim... I always believed that you loved me the same way as I did. Everything was my mistake, and I hurt you. I know you are hurt, but please don't leave me alone in this. All these years, I waited for you to come back and give me another chance, but you never came back. I accepted it as my destiny and suffered every moment for the past seven years, but please don't do it anymore. Don't please don't leave me like before. I'm so scared. You might think I'm selfish right now, but I'm really so scared. I don't want to leave you now. It's so early, isn't it?” He hugged her. He was crying. 
She was crying too. It was true that she was still scared of him. But he was the only man she loved all those years. 
 
“Kanat! Let's go from here; you have to rest, and tomorrow is your surgery too.” Ekim broke the hug and left the room. Kanat looked at the half-open door with pain. 
 
When Kanat entered the room, Ekim was lying down to sleep. Kanat took a deep breath and then laid down next to her. He ran his fingers over Ekim's arm. Ekim's mouth was on the other side. She did not turn towards Kanat. Kanat took a deep breath and spoke again. “I thought of a name for our baby. You were busy, so you didn't get a chance to tell.” Ekim bit her lower lip but didn't answer. “If it is a boy, name him Ali, and if it is a girl, name her Bahar, and tell him or her that their father loved them very much.” Tears were flowing from Ekim's eyes, and on Kanat's last sentence, she turned to Kanat angrily and again said, “You will not die so soon! I have no intention of leaving you now.” Kanat smiled softly. Ekim did not smile. “That day will be the happiest day of my life when you tell me that I love you too, Kanat!” Kanat said while wiping the streak of tears from her cheek. “Go to sleep! You have to go to the hospital in the morning.” Ekim said, closing her eyes. 
 
Ekim was standing near kanat while doctor was telling him something. But she was not present there mentally. She was preparing herself for any type of outcome. She was not ready for anything. Even if it was for good. She lost hope in herself. She was now believing that she don't deserve to be loved. Melissa's words echoed in his ears again. Kanat will leave you like your dad did. She closed her eyes and let the tear fall. “Ekim what happened?” She snapped into reality back. “Huh?” She looked at kanat with blank mind. He was looking at her with concern. “No- nothing!” She looked at kanat and then at doctor. “I will give you some time, surgery will start in few minutes.” Doctor said and left the operation room. Ekim looked at kanat who was sitting at the operation bed in blue patient uniform. She sighed and hold both hands in hers. “Çiçek is not just your daughter, she is also my daughter. You don't have to worry about anyone right now. Think about yourself and do it for yourself kanat!” She said with a sad smile. Kanat looked at her with a smile too. “You know that I just have 25% of survival, right?” He said slowly. “Kanat, I just know that you will do anything for me and I want you to do it for yourself, will you?” Ekim asked with hope. Her hands still holding his hands. “So your wish is that I have to survive this surgery for myself?” He asked. She nodded with a smile. “On one condition!” He said. “What?” Ekim asked. “One kiss?” He said with a smile. “One kiss is all it takes, falling in love with me~” he tried to sing. Ekim chuckle. She slowly bent down and place little kiss on his lips. “Best of luck!” She said with a smile. “Ekim!” He called her out when she was going towards the door. “I love you!” He said slowly. She just nodded.