If Only You Were Here

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

Every time Saiph sat back down, she was quickly up again to check herself in the mirror. Is her mascara smudged? Is there food between her teeth? Are her clothes on backwards? She didn't want to make a fool of herself.

The doorbell chimes for her visitors, and Saiph ensures she does not rush down the stairs. She takes her time with each step before reaching the front door. Saiph curses to herself as she begins to regret that she didn't look over before opening the door. There stood her new friend, Ansel.

"Hey, ready to work on these photos?" He asks.

Saiph doesn't manage to say anything due to the nerves of him being in her home, so she hums instead. Steeping aside, she leaves a space for him to walk in. Ansel steps into Saiph's home and begins familiarising the new surroundings. Saiph looks down at her feet and fiddles with the silver rings on her fingers. Should she offer him a tea? Coffee? Water? These thoughts flood her mind but no words of offering leave her mouth.

"It's not much of a home yet. We're still settling in and getting everything set up," Saiph manages to say.

"Isn't a home where your loved ones are? You have your parents here," he says.

To Ansel, it was an insightful point on the idea of a home. To Saiph, it was a hit to her heart. This is a reminder that this would only be her home if Alcor were here.

Saiph quickly changes the subject onto the photo project and gets him to follow her into the kitchen. She eventually asked about what beverage he'd like. Ansel settled on a Coke, Saiph does as well. She isn't sure how long Ansel will stay today, but she hopes it's for a little while.

The front door clicks open, and Saiph freezes. Her parents weren't supposed to be back home until tonight. She invited Ansel today instead of tomorrow to avoid this awkward meeting. It was bound to happen, but Saiph didn't want it to happen now. Before she can snatch Ansel's hand and run upstairs, her mother walks into the kitchen.

"Oh, hello, who is this, Saiph?" Gwen asks. Her father walks in behind her.

"Mum, Dad, this is Ansel. He's helping me with a photography project." Saiph introduces.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Gwen smiles, and Stefan shakes his hand. "We're sorry to interrupt. Stef and I were meant to be at a friend's place, but she's caught the flu. Why don't you stay for dinner? I swung by Woolies to get the ingredients to make lasagne."

Ansel is about to answer, but Saiph says, "Oh, sorry, Mum. I'm visiting Alcor tonight. I won't be here for dinner."

Gwen and Stefan tense up at the name of their eldest son.

"Why don't you go tomorrow night? The three of us could go see him," Saiph's dad suggests, his eyes softening.

"Thanks, Dad, but I promised Alcor I'd go over tonight."

Gwen rubs her lips together and nods, accepting Saiph's answer and excusing the two of them to start on the photograph project. Saiph nudges Ansel's shoulder and follows her up the stairs and into the room.

Ansel gives himself a tour of the space the minute he steps in, discovering more of who Saiph is. Her room doesn't give much away on who she is besides the two stars on the roof.

"Only two? Didn't you buy a whole packet?" He questions.

"I did," Saiph says, trying to warp her head around what to say. Ansel sits on the edge of her bed and waits for her answer. "It's me and my brother. It's not super accurate to where our stars align, but I want them there when I can't see them in the sky."

Ansel smiles, "see? A home is where your family is."

Again, Saiph's heart drops. "I guess so, but he's back in Sunbury. He doesn't live with us."

"Oh, why not?"

Saiph looks down at her feet and fiddles with her silver rings again. She debates whether or not to tell him the truth but settles on a lie instead. "The move to Melbourne didn't work for him."

Ansel nods, sensing there is more to her mysterious brother, but knows not to push for more, so he drops it and gets out his laptop.

"Shall we begin learning Photoshop then?"

"We? I thought you knew how."

Ansel chuckles, "I know as much as you. Which is nothing."

As he turned on his laptop, Saiph stood in her spot, a little stunned. She was under the impression that Ansel knew at least the basics of Photoshop when he offered to come around and edit them.

Saiph manages to unfreeze and shuffles her way to the edge of her bed beside Ansel. He slightly nudges himself over more to be closer to her. Saiph bites her lip to hide her small smile and focuses on getting her heartbeat to stop pumping like crazy. Ansel doesn't seem to notice as he goes through all the videos he saved while working with Photoshop.

Saiph practically has to smash on the door to get Alcor to open it. He knew she was coming over around this time. She hears rustling at the other end of the door before it swings open.

"Took you long enough," Saiph says, walking straight inside.

"Come in, darling sister. I'm fantastic, how are you?" He says.

"Ha ha, knock it off," she rolls her eyes. "I want to show you what I made today!"

Saiph skips over to the second-hand blue couch and collapses into her designated corner. Alcor groans with annoyance from his little sister's antics but forces himself to follow her steps and takes the empty spot beside her. Saiph practically shoves the phone in his face and presents the pictures she edited today with Ansel.

They ended up doing three. The first one had Francesca lying on the grass, squinting and covering her face with her hand as she looked up at the bright sky. Golden sun rays sprayed down on her, and the gold look was enhanced in Photoshop. The second photo had the same gold colouring, but this time, a white flower crown was placed on Franny's head like a halo. The third one, however, was Saiph's favourite.

Ansel and her edited in a collaged style angel wings that were behind Francesca. In this picture, she was looking at the sky again but was standing. It took hours for Ansel and Saiph to get this one right, and they were ecstatic with the result, considering it was their first time playing around with photography.

"These are cool, Saiph. Since when were you into photography?" Alcor asks.

Saiph sighs, "since never. It was fun, but I don't think it's my thing."

"What got you to try it in the first place?" Saiph blushes at his question, giving him a straight answer. Alcor sat up straighter and smirked. "As a matter of fact, who got you to try photography?"

"His name is Ansel."

Alcor continues to wait for her to say more patiently. He pauses for information to now tease her with his brotherly love. In all honesty, Saiph doesn't have much to lose by giving this information to him. He can tease her all he wants, but the two boys will never be able to meet.

That thought is immediately pushed to the back of Saiph's mind, and she tells her brother everything about the boy who knew her star.