When She Gets Burned

Darkness Surrenders

The therapist sat across from Alani, her office a sanctuary of subdued colours and a soft glow that aimed to offer comfort. She began the session with the customary question, "How has today been for you, Alani?" A question that, in essence, inquired about the general state of her soul. Alani's response was as it had been for countless sessions before – an apathetic acknowledgment of the mundane. Today was much like any other day, a steady continuation of the grey monotony that had enveloped her life.

As the therapist gently probed the depths of Alani's consciousness, the conversation inevitably drifted toward the spectre that loomed over her – Ezra. The therapist asked Alani to delve into the intricate details of her relationship with him, a journey into the labyrinth of emotions and memories that she had been trying to navigate.

"I almost wish we never met," Alani confessed, her voice carrying the weight of regret and longing. The therapist, always an attentive listener, questioned her choice of words – "Why do you say 'almost'? What holds you back from a definitive wish?"

Alani sighed, the sound a mixture of frustration and resignation. "It's been a long time, almost two years now," she began, her gaze fixed on a point in the room that seemed to absorb her unspoken thoughts. "It shouldn't matter anymore, and yet... I can't let it go. I can't let go of the fact that I was 25 when he left, and I've been 25 ever since." The therapist, well-versed in the nuances of human emotion, recognized the stagnation that clung to Alani's perception of time. It was as if the clock had frozen at that pivotal moment when Ezra departed, leaving her stranded in the ceaseless present of a heartache that refused to recede.

"Alani," the therapist began, her tone gentle but firm, "holding onto a past version of yourself, frozen in time, may be a way to avoid confronting the pain and healing. Our minds often cling to familiar pain as a way of shielding us from the uncertainty of the unknown. It's okay to acknowledge the hurt and take steps toward a different future."

The therapist, a compassionate guide through the labyrinth of Alani's emotions, continued to unravel the layers of grief that clung to her like a heavy shroud. "You're grieving, Alani," she asserted, her words echoing in the quiet space between them. "Grieving for what could have been, mourning what will not be, and struggling to save something that, perhaps, was never meant to be saved."

Alani nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the perpetual sorrow that had become an indelible part of her existence. The therapist encouraged her to explore the depths of this grief, to confront it head-on rather than tiptoe around its edges. It was a painful journey, one that Alani had embarked upon reluctantly, but the therapist stood as a steady companion in the process. As Alani ventured into the recesses of her mind, she found herself articulating a desire for an apology from Ezra, a yearning for some form of acknowledgment or consolation. "I just want him to understand," she admitted, her voice tinged with both vulnerability and frustration. "I want him to apologize for what he did to my mind, my heart. I need some closure, some validation."

The therapist, perceptive and empathetic, responded, "The challenge, Alani, is that he may never understand the depth of what he has lost or done. He never truly knew what he had. Sometimes, people remain oblivious to the value of something until it slips through their fingers." The session neared its end, leaving Alani with a mixture of emotions. The therapist gently reminded her that some wounds cut too deep to be forgotten, yet healing remained a possibility. As Alani left the therapist's office, she carried with her a heavy heart, burdened by the weight of unspoken apologies and unreconciled pain.

Returning to her modest flat, Alani faced the solitude that awaited her. The space, though lacking in luxury, offered a canvas for her healing journey. She sat in the quiet, contemplating the words spoken in the therapist's office, wondering if the elusive closure she sought would ever find its way to her. The clock ticked on, and Alani embraced the uncertainty of the future, uncertain yet pregnant with the potential for renewal.