. *ੈ⭐༘⋆. Starlit's Little Diary . *ੈ⭐༘⋆.

⋆21|02|2024 - Don't feeling sobber⋆

Sometimes i wonder if this feeling is going away, if its ever going away...maybe not...this is not my faut, is it? of course not! is it? I have no sure about anything...I know I should do something about it, but...everyone knows I'm not capable, they do...right? I already told them, told all...do they care?  

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[hours before]

If she still talking I'll cry...but I don't wanna get her upset...I'm not pretending...am I? Do I have sure about what I'm feeling? I wanna go home, but I know if I do I'll be stuck there... not fair...

"remember summer days"

Why this makes me feel sad? Oh yea, I'm no longer able to live my summer days, just remember them...If this moments live in our memory's I wanna sleep forever, and have this wonderful dream forever...

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Here now, I still feel insecure, even here, they have no idea what I'm doing, and this let's me upset...I didn't wanted to write, I wonder I could say...I wonder my words wasnt too fragile, I wonder I was stronger, stronger enought to hold me my own, hold my words...

Why this feel's wrong? I don't feel myself any longer....I don't feel...I don't fear....I fear? I do....I don't feel...why? I don't feel right, I don't feel proper, I'm not propper, even enought...I wanna close my eyes and sleep, sleep until my pain is over...until the sunlight catch my eyes again, until I finally be able to hear my beloved's voice again, and with a kiss he wake me up....but this only a distant dream here...just more of my little fairytale...my braind isnt tired to lie for me? Building up such beautiful dreams just for them die...Like the flowers of the garden, so beautiful, but it's not up to me to see her brighting in the sun or not...it's not up to me my own future, my present and my past is slowly dieing....I just wanted what is mine...I do have something? 

                                 nothing belong's to me....but i still wonder-