Something's Up

I know something is up. Though I admit I have no idea what it is.

My first suspicion was due to Sam. I may not have spoken to my father or sister, but I have heard things. I'd run into an Air Force Officer once in a while, and he or she would tell me something about Dad and Sam. I was too stubborn to talk to either of them at the time, so I enjoyed hearing at least a snippet of what was going on in their lives.

Sam researches deep space radar telemetry. I can't imagine that job not being boring, but that is something I'd imagine my sister enjoying.

Dad was working on a way to get her into NASA. Her childhood dream. I wished I could have been there when he finally told her.

Then Samantha rejected Dad's offer. Huh? It was her dream, and I'm sure Dad pulled a few strings to get her in. How the hell could she reject that? I convinced myself she just really enjoyed deep space radar telemetry, but that never settled well with me.

Then I learned my dad had cancer, the kind you don't really stand a chance in recovering from. He probably had a few months to live. Part of me wanted to visit, but the other part was too stubborn to do so. So I didn't visit.

Then I got a call. Dad was dying. He didn't have months...or even days. He was lucky if he lasted the hour.

I really should have visited before. I didn't. What an idiot I was, but I still didn't visit. I justified it to myself saying, well, if you didn't visit before, visiting now will just make things worse. It's like when you delay doing something, and the more you delay, the worse it gets.

So I did nothing.

As the hours passed I waited for the call. I stared at the phone all day, waiting for them to call. Every time the phone rang I felt a swell of pain knowing that it's the Air Force hospital telling me my father died. It was never them. The day passed, and I cursed myself for not visiting.

As each hour passes I think, I could have made it in time. Then I think, might as well wait for that call. If I leave now he'll die before I get there.

If I leave now he'll die before I get there.

I told myself that every hour for five days.

Five days! They said he wouldn't last the hour!

Then they called me. The news finally came, but it was not what I expected. My dad survived the cancer. I was so relieved that at the time I wasn't suspicious of it. He survived a terminal cancer! He has years ahead of him! I dropped the phone, and hugged my wife tightly. For a minute she couldn't figure out why I was so happy. She and my kids were all waiting for the bad news.

I remembered I left the Air Force Hospital on the phone, and picked it up again. I asked how he survived.

They gave me a vague answer about an experimental treatment.

I thought of visiting him, but what would I say? "Hey Dad, now that you are no longer dying, I thought I'd come by and see how you are doing."

I bet Sam visited him.

Then almost a year later I'm surprised when he and Sam visit me, and he's visited me a few time since then. He's...different. He is more free with his emotions. Not by much, but for my dad, it's a huge deal. I justified it with his almost dying. Near death experiences are supposed to change people, aren't they?

However, he has almost died before, and...I just can't put my finger on it, but I know it's not because he almost died from cancer.

So, what is Dad doing with his life? He's taking some assignments from the Air Force, despite being retired, and mostly doing a whole lot of vacationing.

Wanting to see the world is common for people who nearly die, so this makes sense.

How do I contact my dad? I can't.

Does he contact me while on his vacations? No.

How did he survive the cancer? "An experimental treatment."

Another thing is he seems healthier than he's been. He keeps up with my kids better than I can. His arthritis doesn't seem to bother him, even when it's really cold out.

Whenever he visits, I ask him what he does on vacation, where he visits, and why we can't talk while he is away. All I get is vague answers. I've asked Sam what she is discovering in deep space radar telemetry, and I only get more vague answers.

Something's up. My dad and sister are hiding something from me. They don't think I know.

I know.

The End