Falling for Her Boss Again

30. Coping

Larry

"Larry, maybe you should stop drinking." Tyler reminds me when he finds me nursing a glass of the amber liquid while my heart throbs from missing her so much.

"This is just stupid, Ty, I should just walk to Dad and tell him that I'm not going through with his plans. I'm not sure it is wise to wait for the perfect moment. Gemma is slipping away." I know I sound whiney, but I just can't help myself. This hurts to fucking much.

"You're going to do this. Take it like a man. You're going to show Dad that he can't mess around with your life. But all in good time. For now, just treat Alix with respect and don't give her any false hope."

"Seriously, Tyler? She's here and she's going to work with us. How is that going to make everything easier? I need to stay away from her. I need to keep Gemma close and now, everything is the other way around. Fuck..." I curse and finish my drink.

"You should go back to Jessica, I'll get some sleep. I'll be okay." I won't be okay... I'm not sure how I'm going to sleep in an empty bed. Without Gemma beside me.

"You should take a day off. Take care of yourself."

"No I need to work, I think better when I work." I retort to his comment and Tyler shakes his head but doesn't argue with me as he quietly leaves my place.

I curse and down another shot when I realize the weekend is coming too soon. Though eventually, even the weekend doesn't stop me. When Saturday comes along, I start working from home since I can't stand going to the office and looking at Gemma's empty desk. I gather the files and have my laptop open on the dining table. This feels better than being reminded of how Gemma and I would share our meals and laugh about our days.

My heart jumps a little when I hear someone at my door. But seconds later my smile flatters when I see Dad standing there.

"You look terrible."

"Thank you, Dad, it's every son's wish to be greeted as such on a Saturday morning,"

"You're working." He steps into my space uninvited, looks inside my place, and sees the dining table. He's probably looking for Gemma. Hah...he's not getting her through his claws. For everything that happens, I'm glad Gemma is not in my place. She doesn't need his judgment.

"I am."

"It's the weekend. You should be entertaining your fiance."

"Alix is not my fiance. I haven't given her my ring."

"Son, don't embarrass me. We have an arrangement."

"No, you made the arrangement without my consent. I'm in love..."

"With your PA. I got yesterday's emergency. But she's not your PA anymore. She put in her resignation. She left the company. She left you." Dad gives me a piece of paper, which is an email from Gemma to HR stating exactly that. She had quit her job.

There was a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes. But I slap the piece of paper on the kitchen counter and grab a bottle of water. I am suddenly feeling parched, needing the coolness to open my chest and let me breathe again.

"You should go. I have a lot of work to do." If there's a bitterness in my tone he definitely picked up on it. Though the man doesn't stagger.

"Son, listen to yourself. This is not you. Out of all my children, you're the hardworking one. You would never let a woman dilute your goals. I have high hopes for you."

"You're right Dad and I'll keep on working. I have no time for women. You should go." The back of my eyes feels warm. I can't believe how easily Gemma gives up on us. I thought she loved me too.

"Son..."

"Lock the door on your way out." I grab my laptop and walk towards my home office, closing the door behind me. Dad is right, women are a distraction. I need to work. I love working. I used to love working before I stupidly fell in love with Gemma.

The tears fall and I can't make myself stop. My head is throbbing and I know I need my medication before it gets worse. But I can't make myself walk to my room and get my meds, so I drink my bottled water and rest my head to the side hoping it'll go away. Maybe the numbness in my heart will spread up to my head.

I must've fallen asleep when I woke up with a headache. I groan and slowly make my way to my bedroom for my meds. Taking two pills, I finally lay my head on her side of the bed. I take her pillow and inhale her scent. Her sweet fruity and floral shampoo hits my senses and makes me miss her terribly. Then the memory of her resignation takes me down and faces reality. She left. She really left. Gemma won't be coming back to me, she won't be coming back to the office.

I've lost her.

Only my sheer will to numb my pain makes me get up and stuff my stomach with food before continuing to exhaust myself and continue working.

When Monday came along, I walked into the office and passed a woman who was sitting on Gemma's chair. She greets me and I ignore her by walking straight to my office and start telling her to get me my schedule for today. I don't even know her name, she's a faceless person to me, one I don't want filling in Gemma's position.

"Morning, Larry. I was wondering if you're available for brunch later?" It was Alix, I hate to snap at her when it's all I wanted to do.

"I'm busy, Alix. I'm really sorry. I'm going abroad today so I have to finish everything today." I blurted out. Last night I made a decision. It's too hard to face everything knowing Gemma just gives up on us. I need to run. I need to numb my feelings.

"Oh, you didn't say anything in our last meeting."

"Yeah, a business opportunity just came up over the weekend. You know how it is. I must work fast and secure it."

"Of course. Well then, I won't keep you from your work."

"Thank you."

"When will you get back?" She turns around and asks.

"As soon as I'm done."

That'll be in the next few months. I intend to stay abroad for maybe a month or two. I am hoping by then Alix will grow tired of me and her family will find her another husband. Someone who can love her. Fuck...there's no such thing as love. Maybe she's the smart one. Maybe she knows love is for fools when she agrees to our family's arrangement.

I sit on my chair and start barking orders to fuel the jet and have the Milan apartment prepared for my arrival, explaining to the new PA that I'll be visiting our Milan office and working from there.

It's been a while since I visited our representative office there. I'm sure the place will keep me busy for the next couple of weeks. My mind already maps everything down to the business trips I'll be taking to Porta Nuova.

The coffee is not as good as Gemma's but I suck it up and drink it for sustenance since I barely have a goodnight's sleep last night. I'll sleep later on the flight to Italy.

I know I should be dealing with Gemma, but it hurts so much that she easily left me. I came to her dad's place, I told her dad that I love her. Yet, she resigned the next day. Severing the last tie teetering me to her.

"Larry, what's this I hear about you going to Milan? Don't you think it's a bit drastic running away from Alix to another country?" Tyler asks the second he barges into my office. Yeah, the new PA is definitely not guarding my door. She's probably in the bathroom crying since I tore her a new one when I asked her for another cup of coffee and she thought it's wise for her to give me tea instead.

"The Milan office needs attention, it's been a while and they have grown stagnant. I'll be visiting Porta Nuova, I'm sure we can grow our business within the next couple of months." Yeah. I changed my mind. I won't be staying in Milan for weeks. I think a couple of months is better.

It's best to deal with it completely. I am best at working and I'll drive myself to the ground by working. Love be damned. Who needs love when I'll be too busy working? Working is what I love. It's safer and it definitely won't rip your heart apart.