Falling for Her Boss Again

34. Rinse and repeat

Larry

It has been six months since I left for Italy. I've been working myself to the ground. Not once did I come up for air. The success is proof of my hard work. Not only did I manage to move our office and expand the Milan Richardson Branch Office, but I also acquired half a dozen small businesses and took them under our wings.

By pumping money into them, I am putting new life, slapping our brand on those companies, and causing them to easily flourish under the new management. I am always the last one to leave and the first to arrive at the office. I don't have a social life. I don't work for a living, I live to work. Work is the only way I can forget momentarily about my fucked up life. About Gemma. About the one person that I ever love.

"You look like shit," Tyler greets me the second her appears in our new Milan office. He told me that he was on his way, though I thought he was about to board the company's jet. So when he steps into my office, it takes me a couple of seconds to pull myself together and greet my brother casually. However, knowing what he represents and where he comes from... the memory of Gemma starts playing in the back of my mind.

"Thank you, brother, it's nice to see you too. How's the family?"

"Mine is great. As for our parents... I honestly don't understand why you even ask about them?"

He's absolutely right. Dad had given up on me and Alix. He had accepted the fact that there would be no merger between our families even if I had to die as a single man. To think that I avoid Alix at all costs, I never once thought of having a relationship with others. It just seems stupid.

I ran to Italy to get away, and I've been living like a monk ever since. Maybe I'm taking it too far, maybe I'm being too dramatic, but I have lost the love of my life and I'm still not sure how to proceed from there. But one thing I'm sure of is that I have no intention of coming home soon. Once again I have disappointed my parents. Though this time, I'm too numb to care. The hurt was enough to put distance between me and them.

"So, when are you coming home?"

I know my brother missed me, but I can't. I'm not ready. I'm not sure if I will ever be ready. So I say, "I'm thinking of going to Paris, then maybe Amsterdam next, our Europe branches can grow so much..."

"You're avoiding our Hong Kong office. You said you want to expand the business to the Asian market." Tyler cuts my words before I even tell him my plans.

"Hmmm...yeah, I'll give that honor to you, brother." The cooler weather and the upcoming winter were perfect to ice my insides. It's what I need to keep the numb feeling inside.

"I've been getting reports about your hard-working ethics, about how hard you drive your employees and get a better outcome out of it. Not that I nor Dad are complaining about your methods, but I think you need to slow down brother. I don't want you to burn out."

"I won't. You know I need this, Ty,"

I might be a bit embarrassed to hear my brother state the obvious. I get why he wants to help me, I know I'll do the same in his position. But from my point of view, working is the only way I can forget about her. And working hard has been keeping me drained and fast asleep when I get too tired after work. My back has taken the hit, and my eyes feel like they're dipped in sandpaper. But after a couple of hours of sleep, I wake up each morning and chug my espresso. There's no more Americano for me, hell, I'm in Italy, so I might as well enjoy the coffee. And they're damn good coffee.

"It's been six goddamn months, how much longer will it take?"

"Let's see how long will you take if Jessica ends things with you?"

When he doesn't answer and looks defeated, I smirk knowingly.

"Tyler, don't...there's nothing you can do,"

"I know, that's why I'm here...I'm checking in on you," Tyler states the obvious and I nod.

"I'm being productive, it's better than getting my ass drunk every night." The fact that I'm too tired to even get drunk proves that working my ass off was way more effective than ruining my liver.

"Yeah, so instead of ruining your liver you chose to risk your heart?" My brother knows me too damn well and the man isn't backing down without a fight. "You're not eating enough, you're pale as fuck, and you're working yourself to the ground. You do know Grandpa died from a heart attack, right?"

"Uh-huh, one year after grandma passed away." We all know how much my grandparents love each other. "So maybe I have another six months before I follow his trail, but then again I'm younger. Maybe I'll last longer."

I shrug thinking I have enough of the conversation, though clearly Tyler was not. "Larry! What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Do you even think before you say things like that? I get that you're hurting,"

"You DON'T fucking get what I feel since it's not fucking happening to you. I need this Tyler. I need to work. Don't be like him, don't be like Dad. Don't fucking push me!"

Tyler's face fell as if I had accused him of the greatest betrayal he'd ever done. Cause I know that Tyler would never. My brothers are too dam loyal to each other to ever cross that line. Granted not all of us are as close as Tyler and myself, but we never put another in a difficult position. I hate that I have upset him. I don't mean to, but my heart is still bleeding and I don't know how long it will take for me to stitch them back together. I can't go back home. I can't risk the chance of meeting her.

It's been six months. Maybe she's with a new man. Maybe she has found the love of her life. But I know I will never stop loving her.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, not wanting to sever our brotherly bond.

"There's nothing to forgive. I just need to understand you better. How about I take you to the apartment before I go back to the jet and fly back home."

"You won't be staying?" I already knew the answer even before he answered. Though I still feel a bit disappointed that he didn't fight for me, but hey, I am the one who pushed him away. I pushed everyone away.

"You don't need me, brother, not yet. I don't want to upset you. But I'll be checking in on you every now and then. Just make sure you answer your phone."

Maybe he's right. Maybe I need to figure things out myself.

But once I arrive back at the apartment, figuring things out never comes to mind. Instead, I sit on my bed, pull out my phone, and scroll through the gallery. My thumb touches her beautiful face, and all memories of us come rushing through my mind.

"Gemma, my beautiful sweet, Gemma..." I whisper in the quiet surroundings of my bedroom. Still wearing my work clothes, I don't have the energy to change when my head is heavy and my body is too tired.

"I missed you, baby. I love you, I always will..." I murmur as my eyes close with her face as the last face I had seen every day for the past six months.

My mind and body shut down only to wake up three hours later from the restlessness I feel every time I reach out to the other side of the bed and find that Gemma was not there. Nope, she hadn't been beside me for the last six months.

I sit up and clear my head before I get out of bed and start the process all over again. It's been a rinse and repeat process for the last six months and I still have no clue on how to let Gemma go. I can't even erase her pictures and her texts. And so I take a deep breath and get up to start my day.