I tear up
For life I miss.
I allow emotions of
past to sway my every moment.
But is this what I should leave and build.
Is this bittter pain
in my heart so deep,
I allow the tears to swell up as a pool.
Do I allow my own misery
and sorrow swallow me?
Do I choose to swim
in the waves of this chaos I create?
Or do I drown and get dragged down by the tears?
I tear up
For love I was devoted towards.
The empty pits of my heart still vacant.
The once blissful
moments of love and laughter.
The I love you and the unspoken words.
The force to not be true to myself
in order to still be by you.
The power to know I couldn't destroy you.
The way I left knowing
it was the only way to truly love you
without hurting anyone.
The decision to love unconditional and remembering the affection
I was once given.
The tears that well up
still happen from time to time.
I tear up
For not loving myself enough.
For allowing self sacrifice
as a way to give more to someone else.
To have allowed them
a chair and table inside myself.
To not have believe in the gut feelings I had
and ignoring my own thoughts.
I tear up for the thought
of a thousand word
I'll never get to say.
For the fact that it
will never past for the desire
and circumstance will never be the same.
To the dead end of something
I thought was my everything.
I tear up for the letting it slowly go.
I tear up to allow myself to feel
what I'll never earn back.
I tear up for the emotions of joy and sorrow.
I tear up for the backflips I do in my mind.
I tear up for change comes from letting it go.
I tear up for soon it'll
dry up to never flood again.
I tear up cause I'm moving on.
