223,000 strikes of Paint

Shadows of modern design

I stare at myself in the mirror. "Who are you?" I ask my reflection. I stare at myself. My eyes red and puffy "Who ARE you?' I ask, raising my voice. I wipe snot from my nose, and I poke the mirror. "Who do you think you are?" I whisper to myself. I turn off the light and press my forehead against the mirror. It's a smooth, cool texture soothing against my clammy skin.

"I know I'm not my father, I know I'm not my mother. I'm not anyone but me."

I put my hand on the mirror and tilt my head.

"I know I'm a good person who cares about the well-being of others around me, but that doesn't matter if I don't know my purpose." I whisper to myself.

"Who are you?"

I glance at my reflection one last time before I turn the door knob and leave the room. I lay down on my bed, not even bothering to move the heap of clothes piled on top. I close my eyes and envision my child self. "Who are you?" I ask her. She looks to the left, then right, and puts her index finger over her mouth. "Mommy said I shouldn't talk to strangers!" she turns her back and starts skipping away, I take a few steps forward "Wait!" I yell at her.

"I don't know who I am!"

I fall to my knees. A child's laughter erupts through my tears

"Look above!"

I glance up and look around. I see nothing but pitch black. I stand on my feet. I stare in the direction where I last saw younger me. I see bright lights of colors and blink my eyes.

"Happy birthday to you!" I look around and see my childhood friends and 5 year old me blowing out a fake candle on a mud pie. I approach them cautiously. The group looks in my direction, and a blonde hair kid points at me.

"Freak!" he shouts and gestures at the group to join.

"Freak, Freak!" The children shout in union.

I take a few steps back and look at my child self. The mud pie now smeared across her face, fell in clumps.

I open my mouth and try to speak. Mud falls through my mouth with each word I attempt to utter. I grab my neck and cough violently. Through tears, I look at my younger self and reach out to her.

"Wh-"

I gag and spit out dirt. I grit my teeth and wipe dirt from my mouth.

I stare at the group of children, still laughing and pointing. One of them stops and looks at younger me. She lifts her eyebrow, leans in, and whispers something in her ear.

Younger me jerks up straight and glares at me.

"Who are you?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders and look at the ground. The sun becomes brighter, my shadow appears beside me, and waves. I jump back in surprise. I stare at my shadow, and it begins dancing, I smile and look at the children. They giggle as my shadow trips over her feet. slowly, I open my eyes. I sit up in bed and look around my room. The pile of clothes catches my eye. I pull out a bright pink shirt 'Human.' Was printed on it with large, white letters. I stare at it and feel a smile spread across my face.

"I'm human."

I chuckle and nod.

"I'm human, and that's enough."