Afire Love [JoongDunk]

Epilogue: Photograph

Summary:

Life after Dunk's death is the life that Joong never really wanted to do it.

***

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes

It's the only thing that makes us feel alive

***

Dunk Natachai died in spring, when sunflowers bloomed in the garden welcoming the beautiful world after long, depressing rainy days. Phuwin also felt that after Dunk's death, Joong also stopped his time at that spring.

After the day Dunk died, Joong never wanted to talk again. He just sat on the bed where Dunk struggled with his illness for years. His empty eyes were always silently staring at the whiteboard where dozens of photos were pasted on it. Joong didn't come to Dunk's funeral -until the end he was fighting himself who wanted to believe that Dunk was gone, he didn't cry either -or at least Phuwin never saw him cry. But his silence was worse than the possibility of Joong crying all day, because the man was dead. Pond tried to scold Joong every day and said that that was not the kind of life Dunk wanted to happen to Joong after the man was gone. But Joong didn't pay any heed to Pond's words. And Phuwin knew that over time his lover had started to give up talking to Joong Archen.

Phuwin himself, he didn't know what to say. He's not the type to give advice to others because he didn't know what it's like to be in Joong's position. The person he loves is still alive and with him all the time, he didn't know how it felt to be left behind forever by someone so meaningful. Especially when they made a promise where they would meet again after being apart for two years. Joong was disappointed, he was hurt.

Joong's health was getting worse day by day. He didn't want to eat so in the end he had to be given an IV. His parents came home and settled down to see and take care of him. They didn't look too surprised at Joong's condition, sad yes, but surprise? No. Especially his mother, not as Phuwin expected. When Mrs. Aydin told Phuwin about Joong's past, Phuwin understood. Joong had experienced something similar, and he fell sick when Dunk left him when they were high schoolers - even though there was a possibility that he would meet the man again. But now? Little by little Phuwin started to understand how Joong felt. Where did his eyes always go every day -at those photos, Phuwin began to understand that in Joong's mind, Dunk was still alive. And that was the truth.

Sometimes, a person lives for the truth they want to believe and not for the truth that actually happened, because it is easier for someone to accept the things they want to believe.

Phuwin felt his heart ache seeing his friend trapped in his own truth. But just like everyone did when dealing with something tough, Joong needed time. Phuwin believed that one day Joong will return because he knew Dunk himself will bring him back into life even though the man couldn't be by his side anymore.

After waiting for an entire month, the day arrived. That afternoon Phuwin was tidying up Dunk's things in his room -Joong was in his and Dunk's garden. He was always there from noon to evening and Phuwin had been there, he saw Joong just remain still while looking at the sky. Phuwin was tidying up the patient's clothes that Dunk last wore on the day he died, that's when he found something in his trouser pocket.