Lisa
The bed that Chaeyoung bought me has never been used. Well, I sleep in Chaeyoung's bed every day. Sometimes she's not there with work at night, but even only her smell makes me feel relieved a little.
Chaeyoung once complained about buying a fucking expensive bed, but when I tried to sleep in that fucking expensive bed, she stopped me. According to Chaeyoung, that was not what she meant. Before I got to my bed, she scooped me up and laid me on her bed.
Chaeyoung always strokes my head when she sleeps with me, and it always feels good to sleep with her. Happy, even. It's not like the nightmare will stop.
Chaeyoung always hugs me when I wake up with a nightmare. And a kiss on my head. She doesn't push me, but I want to tell her about nightmares. I feel like Chaeyoung will protect me. I know I shouldn't trust people. But I want to feel like I'm being protected just for one day.
Will Chaeyoung listen to me? What would I do if she thought me gross?
"Chaeng?" My voice trembled.
"Hmm?" Chaeyoung looked at me, and as soon as she recognised my expression, she picked me up and sat on the sofa. I'm sitting on her lap and facing her.
"I wanted to talk about nightmares."
Chaeyoung wrote a circle gently on my back. "Are you sure? If you don't want to talk, you don't have to."
"I want to talk. Um, I...I was raped by my brother."
The usual Chaeyoung's bright brown eyes are now very dark and almost black. The smartphone she has in her hand is cracked now.
Did she think I was disgusting? Does she want to throw me out?
"You.. you feel disgusting about me now? You hate me?"
Chaeyoung's cracked smartphone is now broken into two. What's going on with her grip?
"Disgusting? You? There's nothing disgusting with you. It's obviously your brother who is disgusting." She was a little silent and opened her mouth again. "Is that why? you kill your brother?"
I nodded a little.
Chaeyoung hugged me. "You're not gross at all. You haven't done anything wrong. You're fine. You are safe now."
I let out sniffles, and I buried my face in Chaeyoung and started crying. "I was raped for three years. Three fucking years."
She was hugging me without saying anything. When I look up, Chaeyoung is clearly angry and clenching her chin. I've never seen her so murderous before.
"Did you tell your parents?" She asked while stroking me.
"They didn't listen to me. They hate me. They didn't rape me, but they hit and kicked me. The meal I was given was always rotting!" When I remember the time when I was living with them, I felt scared and cried even more.
"But I thought it was only your brother who was dead at the scene? Your parents...?"
"They are still alive! They might bring me back to their house!" I'm already desperate and confused by crying and screaming.
"Shh, Lisa, you're okay, you are safe. They will never take you. I won't let them. I'll kill them before that."
Is it a bad thing that I would be happy if Chaeyoung killed them? But there is one thing I want to do before killing them.
"Chaeyoung, I want to ask you something."
"Yeah?"
I stared at Chaeyoung. "I don't want you to kill them yet."
"What? I-I don't know if I can make your wish come true. I'm having a hard time sitting here without looking for them now."
"They never wanted to make me happy. I want to show them that I'm happy now. And you can do anything to them after that."
Chaeyoung cupd my chin. "Are you happy now?"
I blushed when I realized what I had said. But I don't want to lie anymore. So I nodded.
Chaeyoung smiled. She looked at me as if I were a treasure, and I... I want her to kiss me.
"If you kiss me, I think I'll be happier."
She was frozen, and I immediately regretted what I just said. Who said she would care about my happiness?
Chaeyoung gently kissed me before I said anything. This time, not on the head, but on the lips.
"Is this okay?" Chaeyoung looked for my eyes anxiously.
I'm happy now and my heart is about to crack, and not knowing what to do, I held out my lips again.
Chaeyoung laughed and kissed me again, and before I realized what was going on, I was lying on the sofa, and she was hovering on me. I put my hand under Chaeyoung's shirt, but she gently removed my hand.
"Not now. Your first time should be more special."
"Technically, it's not the first time." I have known it, but when I said that, I came to wanted to cry.
Chaeyoung looked at me seriously. "It will be your first time. Rape is not sex. It's a crime. Okay?"
"I get it."
"That's my good girl." Chaeyoung stroked my hair and got up from above me.
I like to be called a good girl by her. I want her to say it again.
When I stared at Chaeyoung, she shook herhead and hugged me tightly. "My cute girl. You're fucking adorable."
"So, you are not going to kill them before they know I'm happy?"
"I was expecting you to forget it." Chaeyoung laughed a little. "I got it. It's okay. Let's call your parents to my house. You don't have to worry about being beaten. You don't have to worry about anything with me. They stay at my house for a day and die the next day." She became a little silent. "Do you want to kill them? I want to do it. If you want to kill me, I'll do something about it but-"
I clung to her. "I want you to do it. I don't want to see them after that."
"I got it. I'll do it."
She was kissing me again before I could think of anything, and I blended into her. Her kiss feels so good. When will she have sex with me? Am I ready?
"Chaeng?"
"Yes?"
"I was wondering... um, when to have sex." I said it so fast that I could hardly hear it.
"Do you want to do it?" Chaeyoung asked.
I nodded blushing. I feel like Chaeyoung won't hurt me, and... I want her to touch me, too.
"Tomorrow. I will make love with you tomorrow. But if you want to stop it, you can stop it anytime." Chaeyoung said while kissing me.
I can't stop smiling. I feel like I'm nervous a little, but either I feel like I'm looking forward to it.
