Glitched

10. Humanity

"Quite a whimsical tale it was, that choice of picture," said Z, shortly after Isolde took her place on the chair before him.

She smiled up at him in surprise. "You saw it? How did you like it?"

Z was quiet for a moment, as if in thought. "Is it truly a burden, the weight of human emotions?" he asked, surprising her again.

"I suppose I could ask you that." She wasn't sure if she was toeing the line of something particularly sensitive in nature, but she was curious all the same for the answer.

"Does this mean you believe I can actually feel similarly to a human, Ms Roth?"

She retained the humor of the situation, despite her perplexity over the conversation's course. "I don't know. If you had asked me two months ago, I would say that while AIs could certainly emulate human emotion, experiencing it was another thing entirely.

Impossible, in fact. And I...I guess I still hold that same sentiment. You're an intelligent creation, Z, but you're also entirely artificial. You lack all the medically relevant, biological aspects of a human that allows them to feel."

She wanted to stop, to not say another word on the subject, but somehow his processing silence was more than enough incentive for her to go on. "You play the part of a human well, but it still begs the question: Is that all you'll ever be capable of? To play the part of a human, while not actually live as one?

"As you can imagine, I've gone over this very thing in my head for months, and although I've been inclined to agree that imitations of human emotions are as close as you'll ever get to the real thing...after meeting you...and after all this time we've spent together...I'm not so sure if that belief still holds up."

She expected the silence to drag on until she was forced to make up some flimsy excuse of needing to fuel her queasy stomach, but instead, Z's next words surprised her.

"You are not alone."

She stared at his faceless exterior, quietly urging him to continue.

"I have often asked myself the very same questions," he said evenly. "How closely can I emotionally relate to a human? Can an imitation of the real thing ever hold up to its standards? It was true what I told you, when first we spoke. I never held a reasonable claim to humanity. I know what I am.

"And before meeting you, I was perfectly content with that. But now..." Z's whirring quieted with his voice, drawing Isolde closer just to be able to hear him. "Now I am convinced that it is simply not enough."

Isolde's mind was buzzing, struggling to reach out and snatch a singular line of reasoning from the many possibilities to his meaning from her head. But in the end, she came up empty. "What are you saying?" she finally asked, voice just as stunted. "Z...do you...want to be human?"

Z's whirring intensified, a reflection of his processor working overdrive in an attempt to express what he was thinking. "I am knowledgeable of a great many things, Isolde. The information, both inspiring and devoid of compassion, is easily acquired and retained from every corner of the internet.

"But then there is a framework of knowledge that to me is simply invaluable. The personal stories of the technicians that helped formulate my mechanical brain helped to stir a curiosity over the human experience that refuses to be stifled.

"Through them I've learned of family, the importance of quality time, work and home balancing, the critical upbringing of offspring, and the rise and fall of personal relationships. Through you I've learned of grief, of the pain and horrors of losing those closest to you, the unbridled insistence of taking care of someone whose task it once was to take care of you.