Unbreakable Bonds

Chapter 30

Anxiety had been something I struggled with since my family died. Moving to Spain, having to start again and meet new people was really hard. Having to constantly worry about Dom and how to hide the secrets I held was just as hard. There was one specific secret you vowed never to expose. It wasn't yours to tell, it was Ronnie's. But secrets always come out in the end right?

Sleep during a time when I was anxious was bad. Nightmares, sweats, only being able to stay asleep for a few hours. These had gotten better since living with Lex. Nightmares only around the time of the anniversary but the psychologist insists this is normal. Now though, they were back. Not only the imagines of my family laying dead, the blood on my hands and clothes, the sounds of the first responders, the look on Doms face. No now they had to include Alexia. Alexia dead in the house, in my childhood room, under the pink doona on my bed. It was traumatic.

Jolted awake by the dead body of Alexia, my eyes burned. Simply forgetting about the events that unfolded earlier in the day. I got up from under Lexs arms as quiet as possible, the last thing I wanted was to disturb her yet again. Silently I made my way downstairs, hearing J and Ronnie outside. J was sounding panicked as she spoke.

"Ronnie please! It's really dangerous. You're going to hurt yourself!"

"No J you don't understand! I feel free!! Watch I can fly!"

Fuck no. I knew what was happening, I hoped it wasn't because Ronnie is usually smart about this. Bolting outside to stop her before the secret was out.

"Ronnie! Stop. Hey listen to my voice Ron. Listen to me."

"Ronnie please!" Jenni's pleads wouldn't work in this situation.

"Jenni, go inside."

"But-"

"NO. INSIDE NOW." If Ronnie screaming didn't wake everyone up, me yelling at Jenni definitely would.

"Ronnie, listen to me. What you're feeling isn't real okay. You can't fly, if you try then it'll hurt a lot. You'll have to go to the hospital again and you really hate that place."

"No Anastasia you don't understand! You never understand me. I feel the best I've ever felt. I don't need those pills anymore. I'm free Ana! Free!"

I could see the girls slowly gathering around Jenni as they watched it all unfold. Anxiety, confusion and fear all over their faces. This is not my secret to tell.

"Ronnie, if you don't get off the wall right now, I'll calling an ambulance. They will take you to the hospital and Dr Wan will come. You don't want him to come because that means you can't play this season. You know this ok. Just come down and we can go upstairs and watch Bugs Bunny."

"Oh I do love that movie and I do hate Dr Wan. Okay. Let's go."

Slowly guiding Ronnie back into the villa and upstairs, ignoring the questions from everyone and locking yourself both in the room. We always had a deal, when Ronnie was going through this, we'd have an hour and a half of fun and then an hour and a half of quiet time. She wouldn't sleep, ultimately meaning I wouldn't sleep because I never trusted her to be alone. I knew she needed to go back on her meds, but I gathered pretty quickly she didn't bring them which is why she is going through the mania. maybe it would be a smart idea to go back tomorrow, I could fix everything with Ronnie before anything else happens.

After making sure Ronnie was ok, I went back to the room I was sharing with Lex to get my phone and to ask if J could sleep in there tonight. I didn't mean to overhear their conversation and it broke my heart to hear it because it wasn't my secret to share.

"I don't know what's wrong? She's not sleeping, she's acting crazy and talking a million miles an hour. She has all these big plans and ideas but no of it makes sense. It's like a flip has switched." Jenni's voice was small and sad. She needed to be told.

"Maybe Ana can tell you?" If only I could lex.

Knocking lightly so they knew I was there, they turned towards me.

"I'm going to stay with Ronnie tonight. We are going to head back to Barcelona in the morning. Jenni, if you don't mind, can you stay in here tonight or something? I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry, I really wish I could. This isn't my secret to share. It's Ronnie's"

"Is she dying? Or sick? Please Ana, just give me something" Jenni pleaded. Alexia just stared.

"I can't. I really can't. She will be ok eventually and she will hopefully tell you soon."

The following morning, I packed all of Ronnie's stuff as quickly as possible. I wanted to get out of there before anyone woke up. Knowing the cycle of what was happening, she'd get aggressive or depressed. Not sure which was coming but I didn't want anyone feeling unsafe around her. I'd dealt with this before, and would continue to help her for as long as I could. I made my way to Lex and wake her up.

"Bebe? What are you doing?"

"I'm going Alexia. I've got to take Veronica home. When you come back, please don't come to the house. Stay at the apartment, make Jenni stay with you okay. Don't let her message Veronica. It won't end well. I can't tell you anything but I just need you to trust me ok. I love you and I'll see you later."

With a kiss, I was gone. Not wanting to listen to her argue with me or try and get the truth out. I couldn't do that to Ronnie. I would easily fold and tell Lex everything. It wasn't my place to tell her secret.