𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 | 𝙅𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙨

16: creeping around on the side

It's late when I finally come to my senses again. 

The party is still going strong, music and laughter filling my ears as the smell of cigarette smoke fills my nostrils. I rub my eyes with one hand, stumbling slightly as I try to find my balance again. I lift the other hand up to realize that I'm holding a fresh cigarette, the end burning brightly. 

When did I start smoking? Who gave me it, anyways?

I have so many questions and little to no answers, so I stumble around the crowd in search of them. I can't see any of my friends anywhere - Jean, Charles, Lamaziere, Applebaum and most importantly, Joseph. 

They couldn't have gone far, I muse in my head. Finally, I see the table with all of the drinks. Reaching over to grab at what I assumed as water, I take a big gulp, trying to refresh myself and remember some of the night. 

The water is fresh and cold down my throat, and I let out a content hum before placing the bottle down, eyes gazing over the mass of people in the middle. 

A small chuckle leaves my lips as I remember some parts of the night. Applebaum being thrown into the lake, Charles and his new girlfriend stumbling away to presumably do... things to each other, and dancing. God, I basically danced the night away. 

I remember twirling around, the feeling of my heels against the grass, and the warmth of another person's hands on my waist. 

Joseph was the one who twirled me around, the one who winced when I accidentally stepped on his shoes and laughed alongside me throughout the party. For a moment, I smile warmly at the memories. God, I'm so heaven struck. 

Focusing myself back to the mission at hand, I decide to go through the crowd again. It was better, now that I was clear in the head and not half-gone. My eyes search for the familiar sight of the tall boy with brown curls. 

6-year-old me probably took everything wrong. We were kids, and he's grown up now. I'm sure she'd let me break the vow I made with mysel- 

Oh.

Everything stops around me as I see Joseph with Héloïse Pichon, one hand around her waist and the other on her cheek as they kiss. 

There's no way that this was real. I rub my eyes, and they're still there. I mean, was I misinterpreting everything? Have I really been let on that badly? 

We were so close to kissing that one afternoon as well. Is there a memo that I'm not catching here?

Almost automatically, I turn around and start my way out of the party, my mind running like crazy. Am I the one in the wrong? Am I just overthinking everything?

Why was he kissing her? The last time I checked, they were just merely attending the same bible study. They weren't on talking terms, and I doubted Joseph even knew her name! 

I accidentally stumble into someone, and when I look up to mutter a quick apology, I meet eyes with... Didier Felbec? What was he doing at a party?

"Uh, sorry Madeline," He mutters, and I can see him try not to act disrespectful, keeping his eyes on my face. I take a small step back, clearing my throat. "Ah, it's okay,"

There's a small moment of awkward silence before we both open our mouths, trying to be the one to talk first. 

"Have you seen Applebaum any-"

"I didn't expect you to be here-" 

I let out a small chuckle as we both stop, signaling for him to talk first. There's a light dusting of blush over Felbec's cheeks as he clears his throat, his hands fidgety. "I was just going to ask if you'd seen Applebaum anywhere,"