The Christian Newsletter

Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Y'all know me as Grace Green, the author of To Know You and To Keep You. The creator and founder of both the Holy Sisters United program and the Christian Newsletter. What you don't know me as is the girl who has struggled with two eating disorders since I was a kid. From when I was a kid to now, I have struggled with BED (binge eating disorder). When I was younger, I would eat when I was bored, happy, sad, and even angry. Sometimes, I would eat so much in a day that I would suffer from bulimia. Food was my comfort, my friend, and my joy. I was severely overweight and hated myself for it, but I couldn't stop. Most kids dream of becoming something when they grow up, I dreamed of becoming skinny. I have three older sisters, and I envied them so much for being skinny and beautiful. It was when I was fifteen that I was fed up with being overweight, and so I began to starve myself. I would only eat at five o'clock every day, and I would eat under five hundred calories. I would weigh myself every morning, and I would get so angry at myself if I gained even an ounce of weight. I cut all sugar out of my diet and often would feel like I was going to pass out. Within four months, I lost forty pounds. That's about ten pounds per month and about 2.5 pounds per week. It was beyond unhealthy to lose so much weight in such a little time. I hid it from my family, but at times, they would catch me, and they would encourage me to diet the right way. But all diets had failed to work for me, and so my stubborn teenage mind refused. My family did not know how badly I was starving myself because I hid it from them. At times, I wanted to stop, I really did, but I couldn't. There was always this little voice inside my head that would tell me how ugly I was, how no man would ever love me if I looked like that, and that if I ever wanted to be successful in life, I needed to be skinny and beautiful. Over the last couple of years, I have either been suffering from BED or starving myself. The last time I went into a deep starvation, it lasted for over seventy days, and I lost between ten and fifteen pounds. And even now, as I think back on it, that little voice within me is trying to tell me that I failed and should've lost more weight.

I feel nearly ashamed about sharing my story, but I want to inspire others to come forward and share their stories. I want those who read this to feel like they aren't alone and that they're not suffering alone. My advice for anyone suffering from any form of an eating disorder is to speak out about it. Tell someone, don't allow the thoughts in your head to win. If you know someone who is currently suffering from an eating disorder, let them know you are there for them. If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder call, Eating Disorders helpline, 1-888-375-7767.

Bring awareness to this silent but deadly disorder.