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the holidays are over and the students come back, not knowing about my secret life with the professor who checks their homework, hands out their marks, not knowing that I am entering a battle with death with that same professor and someone becomes a victim of my cowardly act to satisfy my own hunger for his love. Mors mihi iam non est par, Death is no longer a match for me, the meaning of the spell belonging to the gruesome ritual I agreed to for the love of a man greater than god as he himself claims. A man stripped of a piece of his soul, promising that a piece of it will remain as long as I don't betray him, as long as I keep offering him myself.In his words, I am the devil, but the devil was also once an angel, so maybe it is true, I don't care as long as I am his, a vampire and he is my blood, an addict and he is my drug.Capable of committing a heinous act and giving up a piece of my soul so that forever really is forever.Never the same person I once was now that obsession with him has taken over me, I let him take over me and mold me into the image of his dark existence. I allow it, I let myself be molded into his ideal image so that I can forever feel his touches, his cold body on mine, hear his deep voice. An obsession answered with two words forced out by force, spoken through gritted teeth, but enough for me to agree.The two girls with broad smiles, my best friends, knowing nothing about my dark second existence, walking towards me without any worries. My smile squeezed out with force to convince them of my innocence even though I am not yet guilty.I prepare myself for the conversation to come knowing that I will be bored after the interactions with him. "Come on, we need to catch up"I let their arms hook in mine taking me to the Gryffindor common room, derealization sets in as they help me through the painting and walk towards the red upholstered sofa. They laugh and pat the couch, I look at my hands as if they are not real and walk towards them. I stare into space as they talk about their holiday, every now and then answered with a nod from me as I try to get a grip on myself."Tell me how things went here." I turn my head to look at my friend who suddenly seems so far away from me, her eyes staring into mine with suspicion. "Boring, Studied a lot in the library." The images of my last visit to the library flash through my mind as I stare at her. A fake smile on her face as if she sees that the person she left here is gone.Ginny is distracted by a fellow student's candy on the bench opposite us while Hermoine continues to stare at me, looking for familiarity in my eyes.“Who did you spend your time with.”My eyes fill with fire "Alone." My posture dominant, my hands clutching my wand against my body.Her eyes moving back and forth between mine slowly filled with sadness."He's got you." I laugh to her surprise "I have no idea what you're talking about, are you okay?" I lean over and join Ginny and her stash of candy she has claimed while Hermoine stares at me, probably not recognizing the person next to her.Ginny looks at me with her mouth full of candy, which to my surprise suddenly disgusts me. “Did you tell her the news.” I turn to Hermoine whose face is bright red "What's the good news?" I look at her with a grin and shove a piece of candy into my mouth."Nothing important." She laughs uncertainly after which she looks angrily at Ginny. "Now I'm curious, come on tell me, we're friends, right?"Ginny sighs and speaks with her mouth full. "She is guaranteed a job as an auror after this year, she can investigate whether Draco's gossip about Professor Riddle is true." Ginny laughs while Hermoine and I stare at each other.We were going to try to get a job as an auror together after this year, but our paths now seem to cross differently and we both realize that in this moment.She has not only betrayed me by establishing her career behind my back, but also wants to make a good impression at the ministry by targeting the person who should become my future."I'm sorry, I didn't want to go behind your back, but through Ron's father I started talking to some people and one thing led to another." I get up from the couch and look down at my friend with anger in my eyes, controlling my body as if I'm imitating him. "I'm happy for you." I turn and walk towards the exit as tears fill my eyes.My pace quickens with every step, anger and betrayal filling my body.Abandoned again by someone who swore to always be there. Building her future, a future that we should have shared but was changed by betrayal, but who betrayed who first, did i betray her first by choosing a future with him knowing that they are not a part of it. knowing that if her future dream came true, we would be diametrically opposed to each other. My room still empty, Pansy reunited with her love that isn't much better for her than mine. The bathroom door slams into the wall as I open it, my fist clenched and buried in the mirror with a swing, my reflection confused by the cracks decorating the mirror. Tears running down my cheeks as the broken mirror reflects the chaos in my life, the chaos I created in search of love found in the darkest form of a human being.Slowly everything that was ever known to me is slipping from my hands, unable to give him up.Blood drips into the sink from the torn skin on my knuckles, while I no longer recognize myself in the shards of the mirror.His coldness fills the room as he appears in the broken mirror, his chest pressed against my back he looks at the mirror. "So an auror huh?" I nod as my tears flow again when I hear the word. "Lucius will find out for me who gave her that job." I turn my head and look at the grin on his face. "Draco's father?" He nods and places his hands on mine, ignoring the blood covering my hand. My knuckles burn under his hand from the wounds and his touch. "Stop crying." I reluctantly remove my hands from under his and wipe my face, hoping to rid myself of my sadness. "The only time you're allowed to cry is when my dick is buried inside you that you thought you could handle." I look at him and a grin covers my face in contrast to the tears from a few seconds ago. "Bet you can't." He slides his hands under my armpits and lifts me onto the sink, placing his hand on both sides of my body. "If I want I can have you crying with pleasure within a minute , Even faster than Hermoine made you cry this afternoon." His words sting but my need for control is greater, his grin grows as I narrow my eyes slightly, I lean forward and this time I let my lips slide past his ear as the words leave my mouth. “Even the man who gave her the job made me cry harder than you ever did.”He grabs my legs and pushes his fingertips into them, his eyes even blacker than ever before, the sadness wiped away by the lust that fills my body now that I have him standing in front of me. His grin exchanged for mine as I look down at him from my position on the sink as he leanes forward. "I give you the opportunity to take back your words and otherwise what happens is your own responsibility."I grab his blouse and pull his nose against mine, he spits in my face after which my tongue leaves my mouth and collects his saliva. "Is that all you have, pathetic."His nostrils flare with every breath while his fingers create bruises on my legs. "I warned you, what's going to happen is your own fault now." I slide off the sink from his grip, his eyes follow me as I sensually drop my cape to the floor. "Then you have to find me first." I open the bathroom door and quicken my pace to the bedroom door, which I open with a wave and am looked at by my fellow students who offer me protection from him.I look back at the bathroom where he is staring at me with his fists clenched. “You can never escape me.” I look into the common room and then at him after which I smile and walk out the door as finally an equal player in the game that controls my life. My move is not nearly as decisive and strong as his, but enough to finally let me play along and feel a little bit of power over him.Without a plan, I walk in to the castle hallways as tension fills my body.Knowing that if he finds me his damaged ego can only be healed with my tears, but the thought only make me more excited.I see him leaning against the wall, I smile at him knowing that he can't do anything as long as there are spectators. "You can stop your childish game now before it's too late." I continue walking as he follows a few steps behind me. "You can't wander the halls forever." I continue my way and look back as he stands still in the crowd and follows me around the corner with his eyes.

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