Something's Missing

Part 4 - You don't forget love

//This is still the PAST//

Next morning had brought sobriety and alongside it, uncertainty. They didn't have the time to discuss what transpired as they were already late for the practice sessions. Morning went by in a blur.

When Shubman came back to his room in the afternoon anticipating a good heart to heart with Ishan, the sight in front of him made his blood boil.

There sat Ishan with Mayank, his head on Mayank's shoulder, watching a movie. He knows Mayank is a good friend of Ishan's, by extension his. But at this moment he wanted nothing to do with him. Mayank waved at him casually "Kaise ho Shubman". (How're you Shubman). Shubman had politely smiled and waved back. He tinkered around the room in the hope of Ishan saying something but he hadn't said a word.

With a sinking feeling, Shubman had left their room to go to his room. Yes, his abandoned room that had remained unused because he always crashed at Ishan's place. He didn't have any of his things but at least he had a place he could spend in solitude contemplating why Ishan didn't care? Was yesterday just a drunken mistake for Ishan? Was he so easily replaceable that Mayank had taken over his spot in a heartbeat?

His mind spiraled out of control as he imagined not only a loveless life but also a friendless life.

By the time Ishan had come knocking, it was night. Ishan had a scowl on his face as he stared down Shubman.

"Kabse doond raha hoon tujhe aur tu idher chupa hai" (I've been searching for you for a long time now and you're hiding here)

"Badi jaldi yaad aagayi .. Ye mera room hai. Chupa nahi hoon rehta hoon mein yaha" (Oh.. that was quick, this is my room, I'm not hiding, this is where I stay)

Shubman felt his temper rise unreasonably.

"Pehle tho kabhi nahi rahe" (Never happened before) Ishan's voice dripping with sarcasm triggered something in Shubman.

"Haan tho teek hai na., mein Humesha teri room mein aake sota hoon.. humesha se yehi complaint hai na tera.. mujhe lagta tha tujhe pasand hai. Par obviously galat tha mein. Tu jaa na apne kamre.. apne doston ke saat reh." (Ok so it's fine..I always stay in your room, that's your constant complaint.. I thought you liked it. Looks like I was wrong. You go stay in your room..with your friends)

"Pagal wagal hai kya? Kya bakwas kar raha hai?" (Are you crazy? What are you blabbering)

"Haan kar raha hoon bakwas.. tu jaa na.. un logon ke pass jo bakwas nahi karte. Mein bas aisa hi hoon" (Yeah I'm talking rubbish.. why don't you go..to those people who don't talk rubbish. I'm like this only)

"Tu sach mein baukla gaya hai kya??" (You've actually lost it!!?)

"Tu jaa.. mujhe sona hai" (You go..I need to sleep)

Shubman was exhausted. He wasn't very good with fights. He felt drained and just wanted to lie down.

"Acha bahana hai tera. Mujhe avoid karna hai tho ye bol de. Tujhe apne kiye pe sharam aa rahi hai tho bol de. Aise bahane mat bana kayaron ki tarah" (Ok, nice excuse. Tell me if you want to avoid me. If you're ashamed of what you did, just tell me. Don't make excuses like a coward)

Shubman glared at Ishan as he walked out and slammed the door. The audacity to make him feel like the one in the wrong. It took him a good hour or so to stop fuming. After he had calmed down, taken a shower, eaten something and lay down, his mind had finally clocked all that had happened. As he lay twisting and turning in bed, an indescribable urge to talk to Ishan kicked in. That was how he found himself outside Ishan's (their) room in the middle of the night.