When I'm gone (BECHLOE)

Chapter 5

The next days are just passing by. I go to the internship and work the whole day, but I don't realize anything. I feel so empty and so used. Chloe is missing. I don't know what to do. I tried to call Chloe but I hang up the phone every time before she answers. I can't do it... All I can think of is her. I've never felt so empty. It's like I'm still living but a part of me is dying every day that I'm without her. This love is alive, but it's dead. I don't know how to get her back. I did it once and if I look at it now it all seem so simple, but I still don't know what to do. And even if I would know what I could do, I don't know where she is. I just meet her at the rehearsals, but she ignores me. She doesn't looks good. She looks really tired and her hair is a mess, but I can't do anything. I just ruined everything I had and I realized that she's all i need and I really need her. When I'm alone I start to cry so much. I break down every time I remember what happened. I can't breathe without her, but I have to. I've never cried so much and I feel really bad. Why I always destroy everything? Because I don't know who I could talk to I go to Jesse and hope that he can help me.

"Hey little werrido. "

"Becca. How are you? You don't look good."

"Thank you."

"You know what i mean."

"I do and I don't feel good. Chloe just left."

I start to cry again and he lays his arm around me.

"I know, Becca. I know."

"No, Jesse. She's away. Gone. Not here anymore. She's gone."

"I know it. I'm sure she'll come back. Becca, she also needs you."

"She doesn't. "

"She does. I saw her today when she was coming from the rehearsal. She's looking like a mess, not even better than you."

"But she won't come back."

"You shouldn't think like this. She left Jake for you. She really loves you, I know it."

"This was three years ago....I'm not sure anymore. "

"Don't say this. Do you remember when you said you will never leave each other alone? She's still there. She'll never be gone. You are Chloe and Becca. You're perfect for each other, so please don't say this."

"How can you still be so positive?"

"One of us is negative right now. I have to be."

I punch him and lay my head on his shoulder. He's still holding me tight while I'm crying. I hate to, but I can't stop and in a way it feels good. After a long while he breaks the silence.

"What you think about a movie?"

"You know that I hate movies."

"It will make you feel better. I'm sure."

"Which one?"

"I don't know, but in your situation I would say 'love actually'. It's a great movie."

"You wanne make me miss Chloe much more."

"Believe me Becca, it will help."

"Okay."

I growl and he stands up to turn the TV on. As I hear the first sentence I start to cry again. It's about love and that it's everywhere. He keeps me close and I calm down. The rest of the beginning is kind of boring, but then everything is messed up and the communication fails and they break up. Just like Chloe and me. But in the end everyone finds a way back together and they all have their happy end. Maybe that's the reason why Jesse let me watch this movie.

"I have to find a way back to Chloe, right?"

"I'm glad that you got the message."

He says smiling.

"Do you have any idea?"

"I'm sorry, but that's your job. Maybe you should just talk to her."

"Well, that could be right. I could try it tomorrow. We are going to sing somewhere, then I have enough time."

"Good idea. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to tell her. Otherwise she'll never come back."

"Jesse?"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay the night? Maybe it sounds crazy, but I can't sleep alone. Since nearly three years I slept every night next to Chloe and now I can't sleep alone. It's so empty."

"Sure you can."

I smile thankfully and go over to his bed where I lay down. I feel him laying down next to me and laying his hand on my shoulder. This makes me feel save, but i wish it was Chloe. I miss her so much. I wish she would come back. Wish I never hung up the phone like I did. I wish I had talked to her at the right time, but now I'm still waiting for it. I really have to fix this.