Splitting at the Seams (RadioApple)

Part 3

‘I could be in bed right now’, Lucifer thought as he leant down to massage his sore calves. They were practically whining at him to rest instead of continuing to strain them standing so upright after such a day. ‘I could be in bed, or watching television, or making something, but no. What am I doing instead? Waiting for this clown to open up.’

A deep sigh that was probably far too dramatic for the situation.

He'd been nice, really - he'd knocked politely, a standard one-two with just his knuckles, not too loud in case Husk had been correct in presuming his master would be resting. The only response that had garnered was some strange grumbled response that was impossible to parse individual words from. And so he'd waited and whistled a jaunty little circus tune, hopping from foot to foot with the expectation the other would get off his ass and greet the literal royalty at his door.

Instead, the only further noises had just been… suspect.

Nothing yet that suggested pain, though that was hard to judge, but plenty of suggestive rummaging and rifling. The clattering sounds of several small things hitting the floor and landing atop each other, a drawer being clumsily palmed open and then shut as if the doer was intoxicated, pattering footsteps that fell uneven and unsteady.

Really, it all more implied Alastor was sloshed than injured, but the man hadn't had the time to get so inebriated.

A sound hit right after Lucifer mused this, and it was so loud and so close to him that the fallen angel actually physically jumped, recoiling at the expressive bang! that hit the wall just in front and to his left, reverberating through the hallway. Staring ahead in alarm and unable to simply teleport in to clarify things - the redheaded moron had cloaked his lodging in occult energy so thick that even Lucifer himself balked at the prospect of needing to cast magic in it - the king pulled himself together, wiped the stunned look from his face and marched the two steps back up to the door, banging against it with much more urgency.

“Hey, open up already! I don't know if you think you're being subtle, but you really aren't, so why not drop the pretense and save us both some time?!”

Shuffling at the wall, pressed against it, though what must be Alastor didn't make any effort to lift himself. Perhaps he couldn't. When the overlord finally responded, it was strained and fractured, interlaced with deep static.

“Will you just- come back- LATER?” Alastor snapped, so close now that even with the thick wood and plaster between them it felt enough like they were face-to-face.

The white noise overloading his words only got worse with every one, and the cannibal must have realized that when he cut himself short. While a technical stranger to Lucifer yet, their antagonistic first meeting being as brief as it was enraging, the king knew it wasn't a good sign for the other to be doing so poorly at disguising his weakness.

Still, no need to inject any faux-concern into his own voice. No need to lie like he cared.

"Sorry, no can do!" Lucifer tsked, whirling his cane around before setting it down and leaning on the apple-moulded topper. As much as he loathed that the position infamously made his short stature even more pronounced, it gave his aching feet a moment of rest. "Char seemed to think you needed a hand, and I got roped in! Believe you me, I don't want to do you any favours more than you want me doing them, why drag this out?! I'm just going to wait here until you open up!”

Another shifting, the sound of a body shuffling itself closer to the door but still unable to separate from the surface it pressed against. Actually, was that blood he could smell?

"No- than̸̡̛̩̺̜͇̟͔͖̣͍̲̹͆͐͗̎̋̌̕͘͘͜͝͠ķ̵̘̬̺̯̖͖̞̮̲̜̠̗̜̰͇͛́͆ ̵͍͎́͐̀͗̇̉̌͛̇͌̓̆́̐͠ͅy̷̡̠̪͚̮̙͓̝͛̋̐̂͋͒̊̆͋͠͝͝ớ̸̢̧̡̢̛̛̫̰͖̖͍̪̦̞̜̤̥̻̮̝̬̬̬͇̲̩̜̯͓̥̭̖̥̠̮̲̘͕͒̈͑̀̿̾̄͋̄̃͆̍̂̎̍̃͂́̐͆̂̂̿̕͝ư̸̡̨̛̛̥̞̹͈̹̫̙̤͇͉̥̳͙̅̾̈̌̀͗̅̐̔̀̓͛̀̈́̄̈́͌̂̂̍̆̈́͌̍̈̈́͑̈́̾̋̑̏̏̎͂̄̆̈́̉̅̄͆̈́̈̂̽͑͌̕̚͘͝͝!̶̢̢̧̢̢̡̭̰͔̥͓͓̤̰̫̼̻̞̭̱̹̳̞̥̻͚͈͕͕̙̲̳̹͍̥̦̠͍̤͇͈̬̼̟͎̲̫̪͎̰͈͙̈́̉̕ͅ" Alastor snarled, and now his voice crackled.so horribly it almost hurt to listen to. It seemed like he was struggling to even speak.