THE MONSTER INSIDE ME (#ONC2024)

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE ESCAPE

That day, I decided to distance myself from the demon. I did not know how to do it, only that I had to try. Even if I was evil, I did not want to become that kind of evil. My mind was fractured; it still is. Explaining it properly feels impossible, but I knew one thing: if I stayed still, the darkness would swallow me whole.

I went to a pub called The Jumping Monkey. I never understood the name. Outside, a sign announced they were hiring waiters. No experience required. I needed something—anything—to keep my thoughts occupied. I walked in and asked for the job.

The manager was a large, middle-aged man with a calm voice and tired eyes. He looked me over once and hired me on the spot. My task was simple: serve tables.

The pub was noisy and crowded, full of movement and voices. Stuffed monkeys hung from the ceiling, and murals of grinning primates covered the walls. The absurdity of it all grounded me. Carrying trays, taking orders, weaving through people—it left little room for thinking. For the first time in a long while, my head felt quieter.

After a few days, I almost felt normal.

That's when I met Neo Keen.

They had long russet hair, pale skin, and black eyes behind glasses. Something about them drew me in immediately. Their presence felt calm, deliberate, and unthreatening.

I had never met a non-binary person before, and I didn't fully understand what that meant. Neo explained it without defensiveness, without needing my approval. They were trixic—attracted to women. We talked during breaks, then longer after shifts. We discovered a shared love for Edgar Allan Poe, and that alone felt like finding a secret language.

One evening, Neo waited for me after work.

"Let yourself go," they said, smiling.

I hesitated, then followed them through unfamiliar streets until we reached a restaurant called Poe's Secrets. The place felt like stepping into a dream: dim lighting, dark paintings, and menus inspired by Poe's stories. Neo ordered for us. I laughed. I smiled—genuinely, perhaps for the first time in my life.

That felt like paradise.

I knew Neo wanted me. Not the way men usually did. There was no hunger in their eyes, no calculation. Just interest. Care.

Confused, I asked the bluntest question I could think of.

"Do you have a penis?"

Neo laughed, unoffended.

"Yes. I was assigned male at birth. But I don't feel masculine or feminine. Does that bother you?"

"No," I said. And it was the truth.

That night, I went to Neo's apartment. We kissed. We had sex. Maybe we made love. For a few hours, the darkness stayed silent. I felt almost... happy.

Neo and I began a relationship. I don't know if it was love, but it was close enough to frighten me. I was a creature of shadow—how could I exist in light?

Then the demon returned.

Stronger than before.

I was alone in bed when he appeared.

"Do you really think this is your place?" he said. "You were meant for something else."

"I'm happy with Neo," I replied, though my voice trembled.

"That isn't happiness," he said. "They block you. I want their soul."

My heart collapsed.

"I won't hurt them."

Pain exploded through my body—burning, freezing, endless. I couldn't scream. When it stopped, I lay shaking.

"You see?" the demon whispered. "When you resist, you suffer."

He described it in detail—how I would stab Neo, how the blood would spill, how I would drink it. The images invaded my mind. A part of me wanted it. That truth horrified me.

But I thought of Neo—their kindness, their gentleness—and I said no.

"I won't do it."

The demon laughed.

"Then Neo will die anyway."

Neo was killed.

They blamed me.

I swear I did nothing. I was arrested, imprisoned again, and accused. I was released for lack of evidence. Officially innocent.

But inside, the guilt never left.

The monster inside me stirred once more.