THE MONSTER INSIDE ME (#ONC2024)

CHAPTER TWELVE: AN OBSESSION

My first day at the Order's hospital begins like all the others I've known. Same routines. Same corridors. Same controlled calm.

The difference is that this time, I am hopeful.

I want to see Uncle Ryan.

When the door opens, my heart lifts—then drops.

It's Georgiana.

"Good morning, Arabella," she says gently. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine," I reply, unable to hide my disappointment.

She notices.

"Is something wrong? Is there anything you dislike?"

Everything about you, I think. But I remember Selby's advice. Be calm. Be agreeable. Say you're fine.

"I thought my uncle Ryan was coming," I say instead.

Georgiana sits in the only chair and gestures for me to sit on the bed. I obey.

"Arabella, I'm your therapist. We discussed this already. He'll visit this afternoon, during visiting hours."

The hours stretch endlessly in my mind, but I nod. I can endure anything if I know he's coming.

"Tell me about the demon," Georgiana says.

I hesitate. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes," she replies calmly. "Demons exist. But this may also be a hallucination. We must determine which one it is. Tell me about him."

I breathe deeply and describe him—the shape, the eyes, the presence that presses against my thoughts. Georgiana listens closely, taking notes. She doesn't interrupt. For the first time, I feel... heard.

When I finish, she speaks carefully.

"It's clear that something is tormenting you. But you also carry severe trauma from prolonged abuse. You need therapy, Arabella."

"And how do we get rid of the demon?" I ask.

"I need to consult specialists," she says. "But we are going to help you."

She leaves.

I want to believe her. I truly do.

But only my uncle can save me. I know it in my bones.

The afternoon finally arrives.

The door opens.

This time, it's him.

"Arabella."

I throw myself into his arms. I don't think—I just cling to him, as if letting go would make him vanish. His embrace feels solid. Real. Safe.

He gently pulls back.

"I spoke with Georgiana," he says. "Tell me more about the demon. Is he tall? Red eyes?"

My breath catches.

"Yes. Have you seen him too?"

"No," he answers. "But I've heard of him. I need to speak to someone. There may be a way to help."

"Only you can help me," I whisper.

The words break something open inside me. I sink to my knees and begin to cry. I was taught that crying was a weakness. My father made sure of that. But here—now—I let everything spill out.

Ryan kneels beside me.

"Cry, Arabella," he says softly. "It will help."

No one has ever spoken to me like that.

No one has ever called me darling.

I press my face against him and wish the world would stop moving.

Later, they allowed me into a small inner courtyard filled with plants and sunlight. I sit quietly, watching the other patients. We are all broken in different ways. Still, the warmth on my skin feels like a promise.

For now, that is enough.

That night, I pretended to take my medication. I don't sleep. I think.

I imagine telling Ryan about the blood. About the hunger. Somehow, I know he won't recoil. The thought fills my chest with warmth, my heart pounding so hard it almost hurts.

In my mind, he smiles and says, Everything will be fine, Arabella.

I believe him.

In therapy, Georgiana asks about my childhood.

I tell her the truth.

"My father was always on drugs. When he brought women home, he locked me in a closet. I had to stay quiet. I listened to everything."

The words come out flat, but inside, I am shaking.

"I sang to myself to survive. Counted minutes. Nights never ended. I was trapped."

I pause.

"When he opened the door afterward, he didn't look at me. Not really. I knew then that he didn't care if I lived or died."

Georgiana's eyes are full of sorrow.

"You are incredibly strong," she says. "You are not alone anymore."

"I have my uncle Ryan," I reply.

"And me," she adds gently. "We will help you."

I say nothing.

Because I already know the truth.

I don't need them.

I only need him.