Twin(kette) - NEW!

Chapter 1 - The Mission

Schartzmugette, self-proclaimed Minecraft PvP master, top of the global 'Time Since Touched Grass' leaderboard, could not pull bitches. This was a fact, and she herself admitted it. To be completely honest, she didn't really care; Schartzmugette had no problem with being bitchless whatsoever.

However, for some mysterious, inexplicable reason unbeknownst to man, Schartzmugette's best friend, Tikki, cared. And very much at that. Tikki would whine and complain, "Schartzmugette! Go rizz up some randos or go on a date or something, you loner! Being friends with you is pulling my social status down," to which Schartzmugette would simply roll her eyes and continue playing Minecraft, finding Tikki's words incredibly ironic considering Tikki herself was also single, and arguably had a worse social status, being rather well known amongst their classmates as the horny bisexual furry.

Schartzmugette rather enjoyed being the socially isolated Minecraft addict and had absolutely no need for any interaction with boys, insisting that 'the only male in her life was her Minecraft dog, and she'd like it to stay that way.' And this really wasn't a lie, because to her, guys were simply icky. Given the choice, Schartzmugette would happily rot away beneath a rock and never come into contact with a boy for even a second, ever. Because really, boys were simply gross. Ew.

Of course, this daydream-worthy life as a hermit, isolated from all male members of society, was simply unachievable, due to the stumbling block that was Tikki. After months and months of pestering and whining and constant reminders of her bitchlessness, eventually Schartzmugette snapped. For the record, it wasn't that Tikki's words had gotten to her, but rather that Tikki's voice was about to burst her head open. She was simply so annoying, Schartzmugette had no choice but to simply agree to whatever the fuck Tikki was trying to get her to do. Which was how Schartzmugette ended up on a date with this incredibly annoying guy from her class, Fartacus.

To be entirely truthful, Fartacus wasn't that annoying, from what she saw during class; she just generally didn't like guys, and Fartacus, of course, was a typical nerdy Asian gamer guy. Rather quiet, never took off that damn black mask even after nobody gave two shits about coronavirus anymore. Not exactly the most appealing of people, but not the most appalling either, thankfully. But even so, the news that Fartacus would be her date, was nothing short of bewildering. Schartzmugette just had a rather irrational hatred for Fartacus, and she had picked up the impression that Fartacus really just gave zero fucks and would rather lick a trash can than date her, so it wasn't exactly what she expected when Tikki said she'd set her up on a date.

Unfortunately, Schartzmugette had a rather poor memory; she completely forgot about the date until Tikki pulled up in front of her house on the day, two hours before her scheduled meetup with Fartacus, and started banging on her front door so hard it looked like it was about to fall off its hinges. Fortunately for Tikki, Schartzmugette's parents weren't home, so she was able to freely enter.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Schartzmugette had screeched, setting eyes upon her rather irritating best friend.

Tikki simply gave her a demonic grin, and replied in a mockingly sweet, overly sugar-coated tone, "Oh, I'm simply here to help you get ready for your date with Fartacus. And, I've even taken the burden of figuring out what you should wear!"

Tikki then held up a shopping bag, presumably holding Schartzmugette's date outfit; Schartzmugette eyed the bag suspiciously, knowing that Tikki was definitely up to no good.

"Aren't I such a good friend?" Tikki continued, pulling her face into a fake expression of innocence, which quickly disappeared as Schartzmugette whacked her on the head. She probably should've seen it coming, but she seemed to have forgotten about Schartzmugette's anger issues and liking for violence. Anyhow, despite her unchanging belief that Tikki was here to be annoying, Schartzmugette allowed Tikki to enter (mostly because Schartzmugette had actually forgotten about the date and had to at least give Tikki some credit for reminding her). However, only about five minutes after Tikki entered, had Schartzmugette already regretted her decision sorely and wanted to kick Tikki in the backside extremely hard – more than usual, that is.

With a huge, mischievous grin on her face, Tikki had pulled a dress out of the shopping bag – but not just any dress, which Schartzmugette would've disliked enough already. In Tikki's hand, was an eye-bleedingly bright, vivid, garishly pink tutu, with lurid pink, yellow and gold fabric butterflies nestled into the layers upon layers of poofy tulle; this abomination of a skirt was connected to the bottom of a leotard in an equally gaudy shade of flamingo pink, with huge, glittery gold butterfly motifs repeated all over the front and back. The whole thing was just so pink, it was practically glowing – Schartzmugette wasn't sure if it was simply too bright, or if the atrocious 'dress' was simply radioactive. But worst of all, clutched between the fingers of Tikki's other hand, was a giant, glittery, frilly, neon pink bow, attached to a small headband.

"Get. The fuck. Out!" Schartzmugette shouted, whilst attempting to grab the dress from Tikki to tear it into shreds. Tikki, of course, did not allow this, and pulled out her secret weapon for 100% success rate persuasion – mild sexual harassment. This, depending on the day, would range from just being uncomfortable by standing uncomfortably close to her or being rather touchy, to simply doing the most unhinged things possible, such as attempting to sit on Schartzmugette's lap or lick her ear; on this particular occasion, Tikki deemed it necessary to use the latter. It only took about half a minute for Schartzmugette to relent, which is how Schartzmugette ended up going on her date in the frilly pink monstrosity.

Tikki had also taken the liberty to decide the details of Schartzmugette's date herself; Schartzmugette found a movie ticket thrusted into her hand. She had a small moment of excitement, since she'd been hoping desperately to watch the new 'Oppenheimer' movie, which quickly sputtered out when she saw the movie's title, printed in bold at the top of the ticket: 'THE BARBIE MOVIE'. Tikki got another smack for that one. Tikki had also arranged for the couple to afterwards meet up at a lovely café, the name of which she refused to disclose, saying that she would simply send her the address later, which was extremely suspicious, but then again – how bad could a café get?