Your Lips, are my Addiction (Boyxboy)

Chapter 9: Serious Conversations

Nash's POV
We almost went too far. We kissed and things got a little out of hand. He tried to take off my shirt.. I shut that shit down real fast! I barely slept last night. Knowing that I'll have to talk about it with him today.

Cameron's POV
I'm going to talk to Nash today. About why he cuts, and his arms, Then about why he killed my vibe... Like I feel like I'm ready. It would be my first time with a boy or anyone for that matter. I want it to be with Nash. No one else.

"Hey Nash? Can I uh, talk to you?"
"Uh, yeah. I guess."
"Why do you cut? You are absolutely beautiful; inside and out. I love you Nash. Just please tell me why. Please?"
"Ok... Well it started in middle school. I was picked on for being fat, and people would make fun of my nose, saying that it was too big. They said I had a weird name. That's why I now go by my middle name. And they did other things too. So I started cutting. Then in highschool, freshman year; last year... I-I came out as being gay... A-and I got made fun of for being different.."
"Nash, out of curiosity what is your first name, and who mainly hurt you with their words and actions? And why do have faded scars of words on your arms?"
"My first name is... Hamilton... Don't laugh. And it's not important, who mainly caused my pain. And the faded words are mostly names of people..."
"Names of who? And it is important!"
"Names of people I cared about or loved, but knew they would never feel the same way... A-and y-you and Taylor.. Sometimes Dillon but mainly Taylor and you..."
"O-oh, i-i-im so sorry Nash. I would never want to hurt you like that. Ever."

'Mainly Taylor and you' his words keep playing in my head... I already know what happened between him and Taylor. Taylor told me. But I can't believe I would hurt Nash.

Nash's POV
It hurts me, to have to tell him he was the main cause of my pain. I love him. And I probably just ruined our whole entire chance of working this relationship out.. Fuck my life, fuck it.

Cameron's POV
No matter how upset I am, I still need to talk to Nash about why he killed my vibe. I go and sit on his lap. He puts his arms around my waist.

"Nash?"
"Yes."
"Why'd you shut me down?"
"Uhhhh.... Ummmm... Weeeellll you see..."
"Nash just tell me."
"I'm afraid... Its stupid I know. But I don't want you to judge me.. You know about my size or what if I'm not good enough.... I just want to be the best you've had and don't want to be compared to all the others."
"Really Nash? Honestly, that's the stupidest reason, I have ever heard."
"Well you can't blame me for being self-conscious."
"Yeah, but that's what everyone thinks. Is that I've had so many others... Nash you were my first kiss and I want you to take me.."
"Oh u-uh o-ok.. *blushes hard* no p-problem..."

I chuckle at his reaction. He seems kind of surprised, yet happy about this. I kiss his cheek gently and we get up to go get ice cream from the kitchen.

Nash's POV
As we're eating our ice cream, I decide to talk to Cam about our date.

"Hey Cam?"
"What?"
"Our date is tomorrow."
"I know."
"Are you excited?"
"Yeah. Are you?"
"Well duh. But what am I supposed to wear?"
"Umm anything."
"Anything? Ok."

We finished our ice cream and head back upstairs. I lay in his bed and go under the covers. It's only like 2 in the afternoon but I'm really tired.

As I'm laying down, I think of all the things Cam did in the past. It makes me upset. I mean, I love Cam, but did I really deserve that? I know he says he's sorry, but how do I know he won't do that again.