I Will Never Let You Go

Welcome to Sanfransokeyo

~Violet~

Here we go. A new year, a new me. A second chance for a fresh start. Some may be upset if they need to move from one city to another. Many things get left behind: precious places, memories and friendships. With moving, there is the fear of having to create new friendships from scrap.

I on the other hand, cannot wait to start fresh again. 

The only time I had supposed bonds with "friends" was when I was dating Toney. I admit, I enjoyed being popular for once. Having people come up and talk to me, getting invited to hangouts and experiencing a romantic relationship for the first time was so special for me. But through all that, I wasn't myself. I saw my behavior change to fit the standards of those around me. My actions began to be based on fitting in with the crowd. What ended this superficial season of my life was when Toney confronted me. 

He explained how he didn't experience the same chemistry with me as before, and rashly dumped me. As soon as it happened, I felt the entire range of emotions that comes with a typical first breakup. It hurt a lot more than what I imagined from the movies. I was heartbroken of course, and cried my eyes out. But at the end of it all, I was upset at myself. I thought that I had done something wrong in our relationship to make Toney not feel the same way as before.

Of course, I was too naive. Within the next few days he immediately began dating another girl. Seeing them in the hallways, it's as if I was never a part of his life. The second we broke up, people stopped talking to me again, they stopped inviting me to hang out with them and Toney pretended like I never existed. 

My fictitious dream suddenly became reality again. Through the whole experience, my family was the one who helped me through the sadness. Without them, I don't know where I would be. They loved me, continued to emphasize their support for me and eventually guided me back to myself.

 Since then, I concluded that my family is all that I need. I don't need friendship or bonds. I'll put borders around myself this year, so I can never receive hurt from other people again. There's no chance of heartbreak if you don't give it a chance to begin with. 

And don't even get me started on romance. That kind of love, is stupid. I used to think it was all "I need to meet that one guy who finally sees me" or "find my true soul mate". But thanks to my experience, I know love's reality. Its painful, harsh and demands to be felt.

My thoughts come to a halt as I enter into my new classroom.

"Good morning class" the teacher says, "We have a new student today!".

Everyone's heads dart up, and immediately all eyes are on me. 

God, I hate it when people stare. 

"Go on, introduce yourself!", my new teacher urges.

It's okay Violet, you can make this year different.

I turn to my new peers and take a breath, "Um hi, my name is Violet Parr." 

The silence in the room is piercing.

The teacher coughs in attempt to smoothly transition the conversation, "Well Violet, all the desks are full so I guess... Oh wait! There's one right there!". 

She points at an empty desk next to a kid with black messy hair.

 And also sleeping...

"HIRO HAMADA! HEAD UP!", the teacher yells across the room. 

He sluggishly brings his head up and looks obviously confused. His gaze then meets mine as I approach the seat next to him. I immediately look away.

Man, how many times am I gonna get stared down today?.....

"Welcome to Sanfransokeyo, Violet", the teacher says as she slowly begins her lesson.

Welp, let's just hope this year was better than the last.