Everything in the dark

Nataleah Marina

I never really believed in true love,

My mom always told me that Men were simple creatures

"kind of like a dog" she'd say in her Thick new York accent.

"You feed them and give them affection, you clean up after them and if you're lucky they'll listen to you every now and then" While i laughed at the time, i always understood the truth in what she was saying

...But that didn't stop me from obsessing over every guy that has ever looked my way

Like Clockwork every night i would spend hours making up scenerios in my head where me and drew starkey were married and had 2 kids, or some nights Joseph morgan or maybe Chad micheal murray or Centeal cee or damson idris or Marcello Hernandez or aaron taylor johnson or-

well you get it

im just a girl what can i say?

So you can imagine my excitement when the end of eight grade came around and i was moving up to high school, i knew my world was about to get a whole lot bigger.

Now i promise i wasn't some boy obsessed physcho, I grew up in a all female household

me, my mom and my little sister Gianna

It's the nights we'd lay out on the coach and watch the romcoms that will forever be imbedded into my brain, we always went into it with the intention of making fun of the movies but it would always end in me and my mother teary eyed which reminds me where i get my hopeless romantic gene from.

Oh and i can't forget Gia's loud "Ew gross" every time the characters would kiss.

The gene that seemed to have skipped me however was my ability to talk to any one of the opposite gender.

My mother was a master at this, it's like she knew the right words to say at the exact right time.

well it also helped that she was absolutely beautiful,

She had dark golden skin but super light brown eyes, her hair long and curly and her features were sharp as if it would cut you if you stared at her for too long.

i'd like to think i take after her, at least when it comes to my hair

But every time i start to think so i get reminded that i just look like my father.

I'm not sure how him and my mother met as she would never tell me the story even though i had asked countless of times, and i never felt comfortable enough to ask him.

Him and i would do the occasional facetime and i'd see him on all the "important holidays" which by his definition was just christmas.

i have to admit sometimes i would be jealous of Gia who would go stay with her dad every other week

but then i would remind myself that i was happy where i was and i wouldn't want it any other way, just us girls.

But life has a funny way of turning completely upside down when you least expect it.

——

June 27th 2019

It's like i can almost recall that day as if it was yesterday but some parts are such a blur

"Nataleah i'm sorry but your mother is gone" we're the words i remember all too well,

"no she's coming back" i weeped as my father stood across from me.

"You'll need to come live with me now, Nataleah," My father's voice broke through the silence and echoed in my now empty room,his tone gentle yet firm.

I could tell he was trying to lift me with his words but my heart still sank further, The thought of leaving everything i had known - school, my friends, the memories of my mother and sister in every corner of this house

"W-what about gia?" My voice trembled, not just from grief but from the fear of being torn from another piece of the only family i've ever known.

"Gianna will stay here with her father," his eyes reflected a pain that matched my own. "It's best for Gia to remain in her current school, with her friends. But we'll visit, and she'll visit us. We'll make it work, Nataleah. I promise."

The room felt smaller as if the walls were inching closer and closer, it was the last place i wanted to be, i truly believe that if it hadnt felt like my legs were glued to my chest that i would've ran

but instead i watched as they packed up my life away and i was forced to endure a future that i never wanted.