Everything in the dark

Chapter 5

May 21st, 2018

I lay awake on the couch for hours, unable to sleep. My mom still wasn't home, and Gia was at her dad's for the week, leaving me alone. I stayed up, hoping that my mom would walk through the door at any minute, tuck me into bed, and sing me to sleep as she normally would. But she wasn't there. She'd been gone at night a lot lately. As the sun peeked through the curtains, I scanned the room. Piles of dirty clothes were everywhere, a puddle of spilled oatmeal on the rug had now dried up, and dishes were piling up in the sink. Before I could lay back down, I heard a knock at the door.

"Mom?" I said, shooting up off the couch. I ran over to the door and swung it open, only to see a tall white man with a cigarette in his mouth towering over me. I closed the door slightly, gripping onto the only barrier between us.

"Is Dee around?" he asked, his tone firm but his hands shaky as he pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled the smoke onto my face.

"Wrong house," I said, going to slam the door, but before I could close it, he stuck his foot in the doorway. My eyes widened with fright.

"My dad's upstairs, and he has a really big gun," I yelled out of panic. He moved his foot from the door but still held it open with his hand.

He chuckles, "Listen, kid, I don't want any trouble. Just tell your mom Red stopped by," he said as he ashed his cigarette on the door handle and threw it on the lawn as he walked away. He got into his silver SUV, before speeding off down the road

I shut the door and made my way back to the couch, laying back down waiting for my mom to get home.

——

**Bring, bring.** My phone starts ringing as I'm walking down the hallway towards my next class for the day. It was now Friday, and the week had gone by so fast. I was pleasantly surprised at how my first week of college went. Being back in the city where I was raised brought back a lot of happy emotions, and the new friends I made were a comfort. Emma's shy demeanor quickly disappeared when you got to know the loud and goofy side of her. And Sabrina and I had so much in common; we liked the same music and TV shows, and we discovered over a game of "Fuck, Marry, Kill" that we had the same taste in men.

My thoughts are interrupted as I pick up my phone to see who's calling. I see "Dad" written across the screen.

"Hey, Dad," I say as I pick up the phone.

"Hey, kiddo. How's your first week?" he says in a happy tone.

"It's good, Dad. I got lost at first, but then I made friends with this guy and—"

"That's great, honey," he cuts me off before I can continue. I'm a little taken aback until I hear Jen's voice on the line faintly, "Tell her." she whispers

"Hey, sweetie," he continues. "I know I said I was going to come up this weekend to help you build your shelf and see your dorm and Everything, but with work and the baby coming soon, it's—"

"All good, Dad," I cut him off. I didn't want to hear him list off everything that was more important to him than me.

"Gia can probably help me. It's fine." i say curtly

"That's great, honey. Sorry I can't be there. I'll talk to you later. Call me if you need anything."

"Mhm," I respond before hanging up the phone.

My dad was never around much when I lived there, so it shouldn't bother me, but I feel a pang in my throat and tears starting to well up in my eyes. I was used to being alone and doing things by myself since I was little, but the pain of not having someone to rely on emotionally forever weighed on me, and i could feel it slowly starting to crush me.