The Boy in The Hospital Gown || Felix-centric FF

Epilogue

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☀️ pov:

I walked up to the old diary, still intact yet, extremely dusty,

This diary holds my past, but nothing of my future,
hell, I don't even know if I have, scratch that, had a future.

The book cover read "FELIXS SUPER SUPER COOL DIARY DO NAWT READ", I giggled at my old silliness, my voice echoing through the walls,

I've had this diary from 7th grade till 12th, I'm completely unsure of how it held that many, you know, pages.

I opened the book, coughing as dust flew everywhere, coloring the table with grey particles,

Memories flow back into my head as I scroll through the pages, tearing up slightly,

What happened?

____________________________________
September 15th, 2013

Dear Diary,

Hey! I'm Felix, It's my thirteenth bday!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAHAHSHA

Sorry, excited,

I'm finally a teenager and my mom got me this book!!
I decided to keep it as a diary, just for fun

muahahaha

I love annoying Jisung, he's currently pushing me as I'm writing thinsss WHIC EXPLAINS THE BAD HANDWRIYIJG

hi im jisung

I'm going to kill you

____________________________________

I giggled at how me and Jisung used to banter,

I missed him.

Has he missed me?

I flipped through the pages, the pages usually just some drawings or a new crush, skipping a couple of years of writing as well,

I arrived to the year 2015, I was 15 back then.

God how I missed being 15, living freely

____________________________________
October 12th, 2015

Hi, it's me again,
for the 1430325th time,
LOL anyways
The bullies keep annoying me
and I've been cutting again

jisung tells me I shouldn't but
it makes me feel alive
even if I dont want to be

he keeps yelling at me and it makes my ears hurt and makes me unhappy

im sorry that I've disappointed you again jisung

i feel bad for my other friends too
minho, hyunjin, chan, changbin, everyone else basically

i've disappointed them

ive told subin and kim wonsik

they left me

they say that I'm faking my depression.

no one can find this book except for me.

If me from the future is reading this,
im so sorry

-Lee Felix
____________________________________

I wiped my tears after reading it,

No, I'm sorry.

I flipped through the rest of the pages, Most of them were the same to be honest, something along the lines of "I attempted again" or "The overdosing didn't work"

But the last page changed everything for me.

"It almost worked."

I sighed and went back to the hospital bed, where I have been for almost 7 years now.

I'm sorry I've failed you.

I'm sorry I failed everyone
I'm sorry that I couldn't bring myself to stop
I'm sorry that I lied
Im sorry that I've cried
Im sorry that I've ever existed,
And I'm sorry I've caused all this pain to the ones I love.

When I am no longer around, the sunsets will seem devoid of their usual charm and beauty, leaving you with a sense of emptiness and longing. As you reflect on your past, you may try to console yourself by saying that you did the right thing, Felix. However, deep down, you know that your actions almost caused my demise. The weight of your guilt and remorse will consume you, rendering you a mere shadow of your former self.

You haven't only tried to kill yourself Felix, but you've also tried to kill the ones you love beside you.

____________________________________

AAAH!!! EPILOGUE IS OUT!! I'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR SO LONG!!

what are your thoughts on the story??

598 words!