Hold Me

Neuf

I didn't realise when i fell asleep or when it clocked morning, i only woke up when i felt myself being carried into some really strong and muscular arms and then laid on the bed. I tried to get up but my body ache really bad and a familiar voiced echoed in my ears.

" Don't get up, you just rest for a little while ." i heard him  marcel speak.Was i dreaming or what.

" Mar- marcel, what are doing here this early and how did you even get in." i asked him still keeping my composure . he had meddle into my things without my consent and i really wanted to yell at him, i wanted him gone." What did you do to my house and my things?." i asked authoritatively 

"First of all, you did lock the door with the key and its eleven in the morning. And as for your house, i only did some furnish: Scrubbed your floor thoroughly and gave it a new feel, replaced your old couch and fridge. what else did i do, oh yeah, the tap in the kitchen and the bathroom i had them all fixed; did your laundry and folded your clothes in to pleats. I got you a jasmine plant , its on the windowsill in the kitchen and i guess you can scent the freshness of the air in the room: i burnt some lavender and rosemary incense and even repainted your entire house."  He spoke feeling proud of what he had done. 

But he left out the one thing i wanted to know why he did and who gave him the permission to do so." uh-huh , is that all , perhaps your'e leaving out something else." 

He took a deep sigh and then sat at the edge of the bed.

"Is that why you  slept on the floor, your eyes sunken and swollen from crying the whole night: you even forgot to shut the door, scattered things in the kitchen and have the cushions on the floor ; I literally spent an hour or two folding your clothes, you know ." he spoke and i could feel the disappointment in his voice .

" I never asked for any of that, i don't want you fixing me." i said in a loud tone .

" Am not trying to fix you Audette, as a matter of fact right now , you in front of me : i don't see someone that's broken and needs fixing, all i see is a reflection of myself ; Too scared to accept reality , caught up and lost in the past, all i see is someone too sensitive to what what others think  or say about them. Someone shadowed by misery, untold pains, you let demons that are worth letting go consume you: too proud to admit you're  hurting  and lonely and want to feel warm inside and not the cold you've subjected yourself to; you just want to hid away and then say you're flawed living in a flawless world." 

"That's  you not me, my life is different , you can't judge me after knowing me just hours." i said trying to differ myself from what he just said but even i knew he was right about me. how was he able to know who i had become so well than i could ever have known the person i had become.

" I found your pills , all of them and i discarded them. i know this  must be the end for our new found friendship, you obviously want me gone .  But just so you know, i started on antidepressants when i was just fourteen . I might have seemed medically in need of the pills then, at least  that's what the doctor said: now that i think of it, i was much better off without the pills, and so are you. I know this cause these pills make you feel good but there are consequences ; you'll take them and then you'll up your dosage or maybe even upgrade to a much stronger one: The cycle will continue on and on and on ,until you discover you  had stopped taking the pills a long time ago and they had been taking you. I might have resorted to drinking which is also not so helpful, but sometimes you don't need a destruction, you just need to free your mind and make peace with yourself ." he spoke and attempted to leave but i stopped him.

I quickly stretched my hand in his direction and was lucky i held his arm before he got off the bed.  I got close to him and threw my arms around his neck capturing  him into an embrace.

"Don't leave please , i hate it here, i hate being all alone. I need you stay, i could use a friend." i spoke with tears rolling down my cheeks

He hugged me back and then patted me on the back . After what seemed like forever, i gather myself together . 

" You go clean up and i'll make you something to eat." he said getting off the bed and exciting the room .

One thing was sure, i needed to get myself back , but was i ready for the challenge a head. Could i really live without the pills .

Just dropped another chapter.......❤️ ❤️ Hazelernice