Hold Me

Onze

I nearly wanted to go on rampage but most importantly I wanted to be out of the hospital. Tears flowing down my cheeks, I was hurriedly walking with no clue of where am going, and only came to a halt when I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind: I knew they belonged to him.

I stood still ,it felt like time was frozen  and only snapped out of my reverie when he rested his forehead at the back of my head and spoke gently to me.

" Calm down Audette, S'il te plaît, calme-toi ." He said still resting his head on mine.

I found myself lost in the moment, his cologne lingered around my nose and his breath on my bare neck sent shivers down my spine: It felt strange having him this close to me, my heart beating fast, butterflies in my stomach;  I needed to get away from his embrace but I also found myself not wanting to.

"Could, could we just leave. I don't want to be here." I spoke .

He slowly let go of me and I felt a sharp pain in my chest when he did. I still stood like an eucalyptus tree not even moving an inch.

" Can we talk through this before you decide to leave."

"I've already decided to leave, if there was anything to talk about, that should have been the first thing to do before you decide to bring me here."  I said voicing my thoughts on the matter.

He took a deep sigh and then locked his hands with mine before leading me away with him. He pushed a door open as I heard it creak and soon I found myself in with him.
He closed the door and then got me to sit on a plastic crate .

"Where did you bring me to." I asked him the moment he made me sit.

"In the hospitals storage room apparently, and we're going to talk about this thoroughly and if not am going to murder you in cold blood." He said with a serious tone and for a moment I forgot how to breath and only gained my composure when he held on to my  shoulder and knelt before me.

"It was just a joke, Mauvaise blague." He said and I calmed my nerves.

"I don't want to see the doctor Marcel, C'est une perte de temps , that I know. And besides am fine being like this."

"With no doubt I know you're not, I know you don't take pleasure in being sightless and you want to see again. So tell me what really is stopping you from having the doctor check you." He spoke calmly and I could feel the concern in his voice.

I wasn't sure why really I didn't want to see the doctor, I was just all caught up in my feelings and couldn't pick out the real reason.

" Am scared, scared of believing I could see again, afraid they'll tell me I have a chance to see then only end in disappointment, I can't afford what it takes to have me seeing; I just don't what they'll think: Solange and Andre, how will they feel that I get to see and mum couldn't live; I could go on and on Marcel, it's just so many reasons clouding in my head." I said and then buried my face in my palms and let my tears flow.

He slowly moved his hands through my hair until I regained composure.

"You can stop playing with my hair, you might untie my bun." I said and he chuckled.

"Your hair looks better when it's let loose .Like this, tied in a bun and with your eyes swollen you look like yesterday."

"I look like yesterday!! . What type of insult is that."

"It's a compliment, honest question, how many tanks of tears do you have in those tiny orbs of yours."

I just chuckled at his utterances. He always had a way of making me laugh and forget about my pains.

"Sometimes you have to stand up and face your demons ,Aucun risque, aucun gain."

After giving it a thought, I decided it would be better to give a chance to the doctors to have me examined.

I let him guide me back to the doctor's office, while there, I nervously entered the office.

"Your welcome Ms Audette ." He said and I put a tiny smile on my face. " Am Dr Nicolas and will be in charge of your treatment, I hope you don't mind me running some tests on you."

" No, I don't mind." I gave a brief reply and continued playing with my fingers.

"Okay then, let me guide you to the examination room.

I waited anxiously in the doctor's office, I could feel my heart plunging out of my chest.

"You don't need to worry, everything is going to be alright." Marcel said squeezing my arm tight.

I was done with the tests and was awaiting the results; my uneasiness was starting to consume me when the creak of the door opening caught my attention and the doctor came in.

"Well Ms Audette, your test results came out positive, the bigger damage is on your epithelium : the Bowman's layer slightly affected; if surgery had been done earlier after you lost your sight, you wouldn't have had to be sightless now." He said and I felt a sharp pain to my heart.

This is why I initially never wanted to have this appointment, you'll have your hopes high only for you to fall without even realizing how. If only I had had the surgery then.

"Are you saying there's nothing you can do about it now." Marcel asked.

"No, don't get me wrong, what am trying to say here is that, at the time of losing her sight, surgery she have been opted for: as it would have been easier for her to recover fully. There's a chance of her seeing again , especially with her right eye: but with the delay, the damage on the left eye intensified; she has a five percent chance of seeing with it again."

On hearing the doctor's words, I was immediately spirited and couldn't believe it, I still had chance to see again, the universe hadn't turned it's back on me .

"Although, the difficult part now is getting a donor for a cornea, we rarely have those coming in: but I could write your name on the waiting list; once a donor appears, I could contact you."

"Yeah, that would be great." Marcel said.

I found myself back in his car, one point I was anxious then happy and now am just confused, disappointed, afraid it may not work out for me.

"Why do you still seem worried, the doctor clearly said you would see."

"Only after the surgery Marcel, it's not like I've to wait on a miracle." I said feeling down.

"Audette, he'll surely call once a donor."

"Do you think so, just imagine how many people are on the waiting list and he's assured them he'll call them."

"You don't need to worry about that, I'll make sure that you go through with the surgery, Je le promets.

He assured me and then drove back to the apartment.

" I was hoping to be alone." I said to him the moment he parked out of the building.

"It's alright."

Hey there, hope your keeping track
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