My Greatest What If - Gio Ortega (Published)

Chapter 9

Moira's reaction was instant after her initial shock – she pushed me off her and immediately sat up. But, I was quick to wrap my arms around her shoulders to stop her from scrambling off the bed.

"Baby, please...." I heard myself say.

She froze. "Please...I need you..." I pleaded as she stared wide-eyed at me. "Kailangan-kailangan kita...please..."

I did not give her time to protest as I started nipping my way from her ear to her collarbone. Her breathing had started to become uneven like mine and I knew right there and then that I was going to assert my claim on her. Whether she liked it or not.

"Akin ka..." I whispered against her cheek – too excited, too far gone, and too selfish to think about her reaction.

But then she turned her head and our gazes met. And I saw something in her eyes that made me stop.

"G...tama na...please..." She sounded shaken. "Please...tama na..." she repeated.

It was then that I realized just how scared she was. I swallowed the apology that bubbled to my lips because I knew that it wouldn't suffice to cover the shame I was feeling and the distress I made her go through. I tried to pull her into my embrace but she stiffened.

"Pwede na ba akong...umuwi...?" she asked in a soft voice and my world just fell apart.

I gazed beseechingly at her before I moved to hug her again.

Sorry... I wanted to say but I was too afraid to open my mouth and say something stupid so I buried my face into the crook of her neck and waited...

But she just sat immobile within the circle of my arms and fear gripped my soul.

I am going to lose her. She is going to leave. And it is my fault.

I felt bile rise to my throat and I started to shake.

Baby, don't leave me, please...please...please...sorry na...

My breathing started to become short and I felt numbness in my hands and feet.

Oh, no, not now, I thought realizing what it was. It had been years since my last anxiety attack – six years to be exact, the day I received news that my parents were in a car crash.

I started to feel dizzy and I held on to Moira inhaling her scent as I tried to regain control over my rising panic. Shit...shit...shit...

"Hala. Okay ka lang ba?" she asked.

I shook my head.

She's still here. Don't let her leave. Don't let her leave... I chanted silently inside my head. Don't let her leave...

"G?" she asked her warm hands groping for mine before holding them tight.

"Teka lang..."

"Okay..."

She twined our fingers together. I felt her lips on my knuckles before she blew air into our joined hands as if she were trying to keep me warm.

You can't lose this woman, George. You just can't... I quietly told myself. Sa'yo s'ya. Ipaglaban mo 'to. Hindi kita mapapatawad kapag pinakawalan mo ang babaeng 'to...

"Baby..." I softly called out.

She looked up holding my gaze. "Are you okay?" Her voice was brimming with worry.

Ikaw na nga itong kamuntikan nang madisgrasya sa akin, ako pa talaga ang tatanungin mo kung okay lang ako?

"Hindi ba dapat ako ang magtanong n'yan?"