new girl - leah williamson

chapter 6: i need this

i wake up, leah's body tucked into mine, my arm under her shirt, resting on her stomach. i sigh, standing up.
i walk into the bathroom, grabbing my training kit and some underwear.
i lock the door behind me, slipping off my clothes.
i run the tap, splashing my face with the water. i brush my teeth, everything feeling the same as any other morning. i get changed into my shorts, then slip on my sports bra and shirt.
throwing my hair into my normal high ponytail, i walk out the bathroom.
leah's asleep in my bed.
my eyes catch the half drank vodka bottle beside my bed.
it's not just any other morning.
i realize that quickly.
i rub my eyes. i'm a fucking idiot. i take the vodka bottle, opening it again and taking a big sip. i put it in the fridge.
i lean onto the kitchen counter, my hands placed infront of me. i look down, trying to figure out what the fuck to do.
i don't know why i can't get last night out of my head. it's all a blur, except the feeling she gave me. maybe it's a warning, or maybe it's something else.
i don't know what 'something else' feels like, and whatever it is kind of scares me.

soon enough leah makes her way out the bedroom, fully dressed in her kit. i turn my head away, doing anything to advoid her eyes.

i walk into the changing room, just finishing my breakfast. i say alone for breakfast, having a omelette.
leah sits in her cubby, getting on her boots. i catch eyes with her for a moment, but i quickly look away. i'm going to have to try and advoid her.
i cant find my boots,
shit where are they?

i look around, and see lessi and ells laughing away.

"have you moved my boots?" i ask them, a hint of anger in my voice.

"no, why?"

"i cant fucking find them!" i say, now annoyed, slapping my hands down by my sides.
i tighten my ponytail, deciding to start rummaging through my bag. still not there.
i groan. what am i supposed to do?

alessia walks over, slightly giggling.

"soph, they're in the footspace" she says.
i look down, oh they are.

"how'd you not notice that?" lessi says laughing

"god i don't know, i guess my minds somewhere else" i say jokingly, but i'm not actually joking. i glance over at leah, who clearly heard and is looking over.
i find it easier to run away from feelings that confuse me, so i think it's best if i don't confront the leah situation.
i slip on my boots, walking out onto the feild.

we start warming up, so im running a couple laps. right now im on my second, starting to have to catch my breath a little. the sun shines down on me,
after my lap, i start stretching. my mind wanders around a bit. i'm stood by myself, everybody else in groups warming up. i do lunges, then my normal warmup routine. my eyes catch leah a few times, accidentally.
as i start my static stretches, ella and alessia walk over and join me.

"you okay soph?" ella asks

"yeah, why?" i reply emotionless

"your doing that thing again" she says calmly, clearly making an effort not to tick me off.

"doing what?"

"when you cut everyone off, you haven't done it in a while, but you're starting to get back into it. " i know their just trying to help me, but i need this. i need to be alone, i need to just focus on my football.i don't need distractions like leah. i don't care. i need to be how i used to. maybe i need to see ellie again.

"i'm not doing anything"

"soph you-"

"i'm not doing anything. come on warm up with me. " i say, cutting her off.
with a little hesitation they do. 
just like normal, we start talking and joking away, soon in fits of laughter.