new girl - leah williamson

chapter 31: its the truth soph

sophia's pov~

ive taken a few days off of training, to get my body back up to standard mainly. viv and beth's have come every night to cook me dinner, even though it just hasn't stayed down.
to say this is hell is an understatement.

now, i'm sat in beth's living room, my mind swamped with confusion as a kim, steph, katie and caitlin all come into the room.
what the fuck is going on?

"what the fuck?" is all i manage out.

"soph, you need to know what's actually happened-" kim starts,

"-no, no i'm not doing this. i don't need to know, i don't care. " i interrupt, standing up.

"no sophia, you're sitting" katie says, pulling me back down onto the sofa.
what the fuck is going on?
what do they not fucking get?
i don't care.
i don't want to talk about it.
i don't care about what 'actually' happened, i don't care about some shitty excuse.

"sophi just listen, please" kim pleads, and i give in.  if it was anyone else, i wouldnt. but she's earnt my respect. she cleaned my cubby, and my house without me even asking, all whilst i was at beth's. just because she actually cared, for once somebody actually cared.
this whole thing is embarrassing enough, i don't want to end up fighting with teammates over this.

"go on" i say bitterly, not happy about this ambush.

"leah didn't cheat on you-" caitlin starts

"sure she didn't" i snap, getting a shake of the head in return from katie.

"let her speak" katie says calmly

"can your girlfriend not speak for herself?" i inquire sarcastically.

"as i was saying, you've got it all wrong soph, leah never-"

"oh ofcourse it's me that's got it wrong! leah never did this, leah never did that! i don't care what she fucking did and didn't do!" i snap back.

after a long time of back and forth between me and the girls, finally caitlin says

"she wasn't cheating, jordan just came to tell leah that jordan's grandmother died, that's all. the funeral was yesterday, if you need any proof, i'm sure i could get some"

i shake my head.

"sophia it's the truth. "
i stay silent.
i feel stupid.
so fucking stupid.
and yet i don't feel anything about leah.

she didn't even try to explain herself, she watched me get into my car, she watched me get worse and worse and more stuck in my mind by the day.
she let me get bad, until i was basically on deaths doorstep.
only then i got told the truth, only took everyone two fucking weeks.
two fucking weeks of me drinking every day, barely eating enough, spending most my nights in a bar, or sat alone in my apartment.

two fucking weeks.
two fucking weeks of hell.

and still, i feel nothing.
my emotions still numb, my head still stinging, a constant ringing in my ears.
i put my head into my hands, just trying to force myself to feel some sort of emotion.
still nothing.
absolutely nothing.

days go by, and still nothing.
i need to talk to leah.

i walk into training, freshly showered, a new week. monday morning.
i didn't train on thursday or friday, and i didn't play on saturday, i didn't attend the meeting and team bonding on sunday. i missed the team bonding night on friday evening too.