March 2006
When Andrea Sachs heard Miranda mention Jaqueline Follet's name instead of Nigel's, the world almost fell on her. Her realization immediately destroyed her: Miranda was a snake and Andrea desperately loved a snake.
«When the time is right she will pay me back.» - Nigel whispered in her ear
«You sure about that?» - she replied acidly, embittered by the contempt she felt for Miranda
«No, but I hope for the best. I have to.» - the man replied with a resigned tone
Andrea didn't know what to answer. She loved a woman who didn't hesitate to throw Nigel, a friends and a brilliant mind, under the bus when it came time to save her own skin by pushing Jacqueline for the position instead.
For the rest of the event, Andrea remained impassive, trying to listen to what people were saying to her and watching Miranda from afar, that, as if nothing had happened, was sipping champagne and conversing with other guests.
When they got back into the car Andrea didn't want to talk, she didn't know what to say and Miranda felt tension running through the other woman's blood: she knew perfectly well that she had done something that the young woman would not easily forgive.
«You thought I didn't know. I've know what was happening for quiete some time, it just took me a little while to find a suitable alternative for Jaqueline and that James Holt's job was just so absurdly overpaid. Of course she jumped at it, so I just had to tell Irv that Jaqueline was unavailable. Truth is that no one can do what I do, including her. Any of the other choices would have found that job impossible and the magazine would have suffered, especially because of the list.» - Miranda said knowing that she had to be the first to speak and that she owed Andrea some explanations to prevent the younger woman from thinking only terrible things about her.
«What list?» - the brunette asked, watching Miranda crack her neck after that speech
«The list of designers, photographers, editors, writers, models, all of whom were found by me, nurtured by me and have promised me they will follow me whenever and if ever I chose to live Runway. He reconsidered, but I was very very impressed but how lovingly you tried to warn me. I never thought I would say this but I really see a great of deal of myself in you and I care about deeply about you. You can see beyond what people want and what they need and you can choose for yourself.» - Miranda said again
Andrea had found out that they wanted to replace her the night before when she had gone out drinking with Christian Thompson and he had confessed the whole story to her, believing that the young woman hated Miranda with all her being.
What the man had, however, underestimated, was the love that Andy had for Miranda, the same love that at that moment seemed to have vanished from her heart, slipped away as if it had never existed.
«I don't think I am like that. I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda, I couldn't do something like that.» - she replied after some thought, with a tone of voice full of contempt
«You already did, to Emily.» - Miranda replied with a smile, as if to show her that her words had a logical and real basis
«That's not what I did, that was different, I didn't have a choice.» - Andrea said, trying to convince herself of her own words
In that moment, though, the realization hit her so hard that she almost couldn't breathe: loving and being loved by someone like Miranda Priestly was like having her blood drained, like having every good thing drained from her heart.
«Oh no, you chose to get ahead. You want this life, those choices aren't necessary.» - Miranda told her, making her feel even more nauseated by herself and the whole situation
«But what if this isn't what I want? I mean, what if I don't want to live the way you live.» - the brunette tried to reply, suddenly feeling that it wasn't too late to change course and start all over again
«Oh don't be ridiculous Andrea. Everybody wants this, everybody wants to be us.» - Miranda replied, holding her hand as the car began to brake
That answer was the straw that broke Andrea's back: she would not have made that compromise, she would not have let her soul be eaten by money, luxury, power and Miranda.
She saw the woman she loved improvise a majestic smile and get out of the car to be overwhelmed by a wave of photographers and in that moment the young woman understood that that was not, and had never been, her place.
She quickly got out of the car and looked at Miranda for the last time, she put enormous pressure on her heart and her body and instead of following the older woman as she normally should have done, as her assistant and secret lover, she changed direction and headed away .
Miranda lost some time being surrounded by all those paparazzi, but when she turned and didn't see Andrea her heart and brain immediately realized what had happened and a shocked and tremendously pained grin painted for a second her face.
A second later, as soon as she entered the building, completely ignoring all the paparazzi, she called Andrea, ready to let out the best apology she had ever uttered, but the young woman, as she threw the phone into the fountain, could never have imagined that the dragon lady was capable of enough affection to apologize to her.
That day Andrea had decided that she would never see Miranda again, that she would never read Runway or search for her name online again, that she would stay away from the places she knew the older woman frequented: the brunette wanted to disappear.
Miranda Priestly's heart, already frozen, that day she lost another ten years. She was sure that, even if she would never admit it, the fact that Andy had left as if nothing had ever happened between them, as if Andrea was no longer her, Andrea, would have tormented her in eternal.
The young woman run away when there was nothing left of Miranda. She had left slamming the doors of her heart, she had left letting the white-haired woman understand that she would never return, that she would no longer cry for her, that she would leave Miranda alone to cry tears for them.
Andrea had left as if nothing had ever happened between them, she had left because she believed she could no longer take anything good from that situation, she had left as if there was someone else waiting for her, as if there could be anyone else like Miranda Priestly.
Andrea was furious and destroyed and she already hated the ice lady for making her make that choice. She hated her because what could Miranda possibly know? They had never said no to her, she had never cried, she didn't know what it meant not to be able to do something and she always cared little about others.
For the whole world Miranda Priestly may have been the perfect woman, but Andrea knew well that the older woman did not know, and she had never known, what she wanted or what she was looking for other than the pleasure of destroying others.
That was the reason why, in that rainy March in Paris, Andrea Sachs had run away, with the promise she made to herself that one day she would fall in love again in March.
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All too well || mirandy
Fanfiction«Just between us, I remember it all too well.» _ Three years have passed since Andrea left Miranda alone in Paris, betraying their love and destroying their relationship. Three years have passed in which Andrea did everything to not see or hear fro...
