Judas

PROLOGUE

"Sister Mary."

My attention was diverted from what I was doing to the open door when one of my fellow nuns called my name. I gently closed the bible I was reading before giving her my full attention.

"Yes, sister Anne?" Lumapit ito sa akin bago yumuko.

"He's here," she mumbled in my ears. Tumaas ang isa kong kilay.

He's back.

"Where is he, Sister?"

"Inside the church," sagot ni Sister Anne.

Lumayo ito sa akin at may pag-aalalang tumingin sa aking mga mata. Maliit naman akong ngumite bago tumayo sa pagkakaupo at hinawakan ito sa kamay.

"Don't worry, Sister. I'll be fine, trust me," I assure her. I made my voice convincing para maniwala talaga ito.

Nakagat nito ang labi at waring tututol pa. I held her hands quite tightly which made her sigh. Sumusukong tumango ito bago linapit sa kaniyang noo ang mga kamay ko.

"The almighty God will make you safe, Sister. He'll definitely watch over you. With this, I can calm my racing heart."

Tumango ako sa sinabi nito. Yes, God will watch over me so I don't need to be scared.

Humiwalay na sa akin si Sister at hinayaan na akong pumunta sa bisita namin. Sabay kaming lumabas ng silid ko at naghiwalay din naman nang makarating na ako sa simbahan.

I tightly clenched my fist. Hinalikan ko muna ang suot kong rosaryo sa kamay bago binuksan ang pinto ng kumbento.

The creepy sound of the door echoes as I stride inside. Unang sumalubong sa akin ang malaking crucifixion ni Jesus at sa ibaba nito ay ang malapad na likod ng nakatalikod na lalaki.

I inhale enough air before walking in his direction. Nakapamulsa ito habang nakatingala sa panginoon. His ripped back that's hiding inside of his black long sleeve is very evident.

His sleeves were also folded up halfway through his arms which made his veiny arms visible. Napalunok ako.

Nang makalapit na sa pwesto nito ay may kahinaan akong tumikhim na alam kong narinig nito. I can't help but bite my lower lip when I smell his musky scent. Napakabango nito na nakakahumaling na. Mabilis na lumaki ang mata ko dahil sa naisip.

Mary!

Pagsaway ko sa aking isipan. Kapag talaga nandito ang binata hindi ko mapigilang makapag-isip ng hindi maganda.

He's the epitome of sin. He can make the people around him become a sinner.

Napukaw ang atensyon ko ng gumalaw ang katawan nito. I almost forgot to breathe when he finally looked at me.

Oh God!

Hallelujah!

"You're finally here, Sister Mary," he sensually said using his low baritone voice.

Malamig ang mga asul na mata nitong nakatingin sa akin. His looks are a breath of fresh air. He has this black raven hair that's been styled to suit his black suit. He's from Italy so he has this European feature. Wala man lang itong kahit anong patak ng dugong Filipino.

If God created a perfect human then that might be him. He's perfect physically.

"Sister?" Muling tawag nito na nagbalik sa akin sa reyalidad.

Namumulang nagbaba ako ng tingin at mas madiin na hinawakan ang suot kong rosaryo.

Oh God help me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before looking directly at his eyes. I can't construct any words to say to him kaya ang tangi ko lang na kayang gawin ay ang titigan ito.

I stagger on my feet when his eyes squint. He smiled! Although it's small, I'm sure that it's a smile. I've never seen him do that. He's so hot!

"As adorable as always, Sister," anito sa mapaglarong tono. Patago ko naman kinurot ang aking sarili bago nakangiwing umiling dito.

"I-I'm sorry," I said. I don't know what I'm thinking but all I can say is sorry. Parang binabastos ko na kasi ito sa aking isipan.

I bow my head because of nervousness. I can't look him straight into his eyes. Hindi ko kayang tagalan ang pagtingin dito.

I saw him take a few steps forward which made me freeze. Aatras sana ako ng isa nang bigla na lang ako nitong higitin sa bewang.

"Look at me, Sister," he huskily mumbles in my ear. Sunod-sunod ang naging malalim kong paghinga nang maramdaman ang mainit nitong hininga sa leeg ko.

I felt every part of my body tremble. In this distance, his scent became more distinct. It's a very attractive scent.

"F-Forgive me," nanghihina kong turan. I felt my lips tremble when he touched my chin.

Pinilit ako nitong tumingin sa kaniya kaya nakasalubong ko ang mga asul niyang mata. His hooded eyes are as beautiful as the sea. It's looking directly at me with unknown emotion.

He gently closes the distance between our lips making our noses touch each other. Pinigilan ko na ang sariling huminga nang maamoy ang mabango nitong hininga.

Jesus Christ!

I gasped for air when he smirked.

"Do you want to be a sinner, Sister?" He coldly asked.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot sa tanong niya kaya mahina itong natawa. He leaned closer to me. Kaunting galaw na lang ay maglalapat na ang mga labi namin.

"I'll make you one, Sister. Just say my name and I'll grant every wish you want."

Halos maduling ako habang nakatitig sa asul niyang mga mata. Seryoso na ulit ang mga mata nito at nawala na ang mapaglarong ngise sa labi niya.

He touches my lips parting them away. Dahan-dahan nitong pinasok ang hinlalaking daliri sa bibig ko bago muling linabas at hinimas ang labi ko.

"Say it," he urged me. Umawang naman ang labi ko.

No! Pagsaway ng aking isipan pero parang nagkaroon ng sariling buhay ang mga labi ko. Unti-unti itong bumuka at sinabi ang makasalanang pangalan ng binata.

"...Judas," I breathlessly said making him smirked.

Mabilis nitong kinabig ang ulo ko at binigyan ako ng nag-aalab na halik. Nag-espadahan ang dila naming dalawa. I can taste the cigarette in his mouth but it makes his kisses more pleasurable.

Mas dumiin hawak nito sa ulo ko na parang sinasabunutan na niya ako pero nawalan na kami ng pakialam sa paligid. I once again lost to this man.

After a few seconds, he finally pulls away. Mabilis akong nagbuga ng hangin at humawak sa dibdib nito. Pumulupot naman ang matigas niyang braso sa bewang ko bago ako inalalayan.

Hinihingal na nagtaas akong muli ng tingin at nakita sa likod nito ang krus. Mabilis na bumilog ang aking mga mata at hihiwalay na sana dito kaso mas dumiin ang yakap niya sa bewang ko.

"Not so fast, Sister," anito.

Umiling naman ako bago pilit inaalis ang kamay niya sa bewang ko, "N-No, please. This isn't right," mangiyak-ngiyak kong ani.

I heard him scoff before pulling my chin up. He seriously looks at me making me tremble in fear and anticipation.

"Everything I do is right, Sister. All you have to do is follow me," his voice is cold. Very cold.

"You're my property now, Mary Madalene. Whether you like it or not."

Oh, he's so cruel. He knows I can't say no to him.

My eyes watered when I finally lost it. I lost the battle even before it began. Judas has already shackled me in his grasp and there's no way out.

There will be no way out, because I'm just a holy fool.