Y/n, Sanford, and Dr.Plablo are all hiding behind the couch. Y/n is holding the shotgun, Sanford is snorting coke, and Dr. Plablo is holding the barbed wire.
"Guys.. this is stupid.. the mayo monster isn't real," Dr. Plablo starts, setting the barbed wire next to him as it pricked his hands.
Y/n turns to Dr.Plablo in anger. "Yes he fuckin' is! My great, greatest grandpappy cousin saw him back in 1808!"
Sanford's eyes widened in shock. "Really? What happened to him..?"
"Well.. it all began back in Nevada..."
FLASHBACKK ヾ(·∀·｀*)
"Boy you better have them damn ropes ready for our next trip to the ranches!" Y/n's greatest grandpappy shouted at his sla- worker.
"Yes sir! Please don't put me back in the darkness! I wanna see my family again!" The boy cowered in fear.
"Whatever, boy. Keep moving. HYEAH!" The man cracked his whip and the boy got straight to work.
"Now.. where was I?" He mumbled, scratching his booty cheeks. He walked over to the working station and saw his workers putting a... white.. substance in a jar? What the hell is that?
"What the hell are ya' boys doing!?"
The workers turned around quickly. "Sir! We're just making a new condiment for you to sell! Don't hurt us, please!" One of them said.
"Get the hell outta here! I wanna see this new 'condiment'" He said, dismissing the workers. They scrammed quickly from his sight.
He slowly picked up a jar and tossed the lid off. He stuck two of his fingers in the jar, getting a good portion of the condiment on his fingers. He sniffed it before his face twisted in disgust.
'What the fuck is this?' He thought.
He was about to eat it before it started ..moving? He quickly tossed the jar on the floor and wiped his fingers.
"WHAT THE- WHAT IN TARNATION!?"
The mayo quickly started to take form- turning into the..
MAYO MONSTER™!!!
Y/n's greatest grandpappy cousin fell backwards on his ass. He frantically tried to get away, reaching for his whip.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!! GET BACK TO WORK!!" He cracked his whip at the monster, but it had no effect. His eyes widened in fear as he continued to whip the monster, still having no effect.
"Please! I have a family! My son's from China!"
The mayo monster had no empathy as he flooded his ass with mayo. It was a horrible scene. The sla- workers couldn't do anything as they watched in amusement through the window. Their mast- boss was finally dead and they were free!
"FREEDOM!!" One of them yelled before running off to the forests.
(σ'∀')σ FLASHBACK END
"And that was the last time grandpappy cousin was seen.." Y/n said sadly, wiping a tear.
"Oh my gosh.. I'm so sorry.." Sanford said, putting a hand on Y/n's back. Dr.Plablo stared in bewilderment.
"Are you guys fucking serious..? I told you already! There's no-" a rock was suddenly thrown through the window, shattering it.
Y/n screamed in fear. "It's here! The mayo monster™ is here!"
"I've had it up to here!" Dr. Plablo yells angrily, putting his hand up. "I'm fucking leaving! This has been enough torture!"
"Pablo- no-! It'll get you!" Y/n yells grabbing Plablo's hand.
"Fuck off!" Plablo pulls Y/n off of him and walks to the door. He grabs the doorknob and turns it.
"It was nice knowing you Plablo.." Sanford said, already writing his will.
Dr.Plablo opens the door, the mayo monster™ standing eagerly in front of the door. The monster wraps his hand around his body before dragging him away.
"AI AI YI!!" Dr. Plablo screams in spanish.
"PABLO NOO!!" Y/n and Sanford yelled. They could only watch in horror as mayo was shoved into Plablo's ass.
"Take me instead!" Y/n yelled as tears streamed down their face.
"Come on.. let's go. He's gone," Sanford said sadly, dragging Y/n up the stairs.
.
.
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To be continued...
A/n: we're back loloolol sorry for the delay
