Adriana Sendria is broken, by her mother, who is Gaia, and her father, who is dead, she has no one to care about her, she is all alone, just because Gaia is her mother.
Luke Castellan is also alone and broken, he is in pain, in a lot of pain, but no...
It was exactly one week today since I had told Luke that I love him and he didn't answer and left me with a broken heart and thousands of thoughts in my head and with eyes that every day, filled with tears.
I wasn't doing well, I barely got outside,I didn't eat much, I didn't find pleasure in things anymore, I didn't know how to stay with myself and I also still don't know why Luke had ignored me, I mean, in my point of view things were going well between us, we were having fun and could have deep but also light-hearted conversations with each other, we could laugh with each other as well as cry, we felt safe with each other, we liked being with each other and could openly be ourselves with each other, so I don't understand where it went wrong and if it was because of me, the first two days after I told him those three words, I felt that maybe it had been too early for him and he wasn't as far along in his feelings as I was and it was because of him, but now we're a week later and we've avoided each other and haven't really spoken, and I don't know what we are now, are we still together or have we broken up since I said those words? My head is messed up, my thoughts run into each other, I sleep poorly and am dead tired all the time and somewhere one day, convinced myself, that it was because of me and that he didn't love me and that's why he was silent.
I hear knocking on the door and I sigh and stay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Who is it?" I ask. "It's Clarisse." "Come on," I said and the door opened and Clarisse came in and she closed the door and came and lay on the bed next to me and put her hands behind her head and stared at the ceiling.
"Are you coming out today?" she asked. "I don't think so," I said, as I continued to stare at the ceiling. "You'll have to face it all someday." said Clarisse. "I already did, it was disappointing," I said. "You've literally been outside five times, for an hour and that was it, that's not facing it, that's avoiding it." said Clarisse and she turned her head to me and looked at me. "I know, you're right, but it's too hard, every time I see him I just want to burst into tears or hit him or hug him, I'm just so confused." said I, as a few tears ran from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. "I know, I understand your feelings and that it's hard, but I think it's hard for him too." Clarisse said. "Have you talked to him then?" I asked, looking at her as well. "No, I didn't talk to him, I talked to Chris." said Clarisse. "Did Chris talk to him?" I asked, a lump beginning to form in my throat. "He tries, but he isolates himself, says he's fine, but Chris knows he's lying," said Clarisse. "How does he know?" I asked, my voice barely audible. "His body language, the red eyes he gets up with every morning." said Clarisse and I swallowed and looked at the ceiling again. "Ow." said I.
"Maybe you should talk to him?" asked Clarisse. "No, I can barely look at him without bursting into tears." said I. "I understand though and I also don't understand why he said those three words back, everything was going so well between you two." said she. "Thank you for understanding." said I. "Sure, you're my friend, here." said Clarisse and she handed me some strawberries and chocolate. "Thank you, but I'm not that hungry." said I. "Adriana, just eat it, your body needs food and liquid." she said and handed me a bottle of apple juice. "Thank you," I said and I sat upright in bed and ate the strawberries and chocolate and enjoyed the flavors and also drank the apple juice and Clarrise also sat upright and gave me a small smile. "Can I braid your hair?" she asked and I looked at her, a small smile on my face. "What?" I asked. "Your hair, it looks a little messy that way," she said and stroked her fingers through my hair. "Yeah, okay," I said and I handed her two hairties and a brush, which were on my nightstand and turned my back to her and she started running the brush through my hair. "Can I ask you something?" I asked. "Sure, whatever you want," she said. "What about you and Chris?" I asked. "What do you mean?" asked Clarisse, her voice sounding a little higher than usual. "I saw you guys dancing, you looked happy," I said. "I don't know, I'm trying to figure it out a little, but that's easier said than done," she said, as she started braiding my hair. "I feel you," I said and she smiled and ten minutes later she was done and I turned back to face her. "Thank you, for this and everything else," I said. "You're welcome," she said and I smiled and then my eye fell on a sweater that Luke had left lying around here and my eyes filled with tears. "Hey, are you okay?" asked Clarisse, as she put a hand on my knee and I looked at her.
"I miss him." I sobbed. "I know, come here," said Clarisse and she took me in her arms and I sobbed into her shoulder and hugged her back as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I miss everything about him, his hair, his eyes, everything, I love him, I love him so much, why can't he love me?" I sobbed. "I don't know, I really don't know," said Clarisse.
Luke Pov
I sat on my bed and stared ahead of me, it had been a week since I had ignored Adriana's words and in doing so broke her heart and mine, and the most horrible thing now is that she thinks I don't love her, but I do love her, I have never loved anyone in my life as much as I love her, but I can't love her, it would ruin everything I have done and plan to do, she would invade my mind and make me forget everything that I have worked so hard for, I would disappoint Him and that can't happen, not again, He would never forgive me if I threw it all away, simply because I am in love with a girl and that I love her, I can't let my love that I feel for her get in the way of my mission, it just can't, it can't happen, so I did the most horrible thing you can do, I ignored her, broke not only her heart but also mine and left her cold and pretended I didn't care, when in reality I cared very much and I would love nothing more than to go to her and tell her I love her too and then hold her in my arms and kiss her, but I couldn't, I couldn't afford to be weak, I couldn't keep up that ignorant act of an ignorant teenage boy in love anymore, no, I had to be this now, a teenage boy with a goal to make the world a better place and make sure the gods stopped ignoring their children, and if things had to get ugly because of that, then so be it, I had to accomplish my mission now and I couldn't let nothing and no one distract me, I had to do this, even though something inside me said this wasn't right, I had no choice, I was already in too deep, I had to see this through to completion now.
Chris came in. "Hey buddy." he said and he came and sat next to me on the bed. "Hey." I said and looked at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Fine, I feel fine," I told him, even though it was a lie, I needed to feel fine, I couldn't afford to be weak. "Dude , you don't look fine, you have huge bags under your eyes, your eyes look red and you look like you haven't showered in a week." said Chris. "Thanks for these cheery comments, they really make me feel good about myself." said I. "I just mean you really are an idiot." said Chris. "How is that better?" I asked. "Luke, you're not okay, things are really bad between you and Adriana, in case you haven't noticed, I'm sure it doesn't interest you, but she's only been out five hours in the past week, she barely eats and drinks and only talks to Clarisse." I sucked in a breath. "And now don't pretend you don't care," he said. "And what exactly happened that caused all this, less than two days ago you told me you told her about Thalia, that's not something you tell people quickly, so I assumed things were going well and now this has happened." said Chris. "She said she loves me and I didn't say it back," I said. "So you don't love her?" asked Chris and he looked at me. "Yep, I do love her, but it's complicated." "You make it complicated, she loves you and you love her, just tell her and everything is solved." Chris said. "It's not that simple," said I. "You and her decide how difficult or simple this goes and now you're choosing the path with no outcome and that's not smart because Luke, she's the best thing that ever happened to you." Chris said and he put a hand on my shoulder and then went off my bed again and I sighed deeply and fell down on my bed and ran a hand through my hair and tears rolled down my cheeks.
I am happy with this chapter and now you know the reason why Luke didn't say it back, so hopefully now you understand his side of the story a little better, so next week there won't be a new chapter, because then I will watch the five episodes of the third season of Young Royals and the week after that I will watch the sixth episode and then I will update again, then you already know this and when this story is done there will be a chapter of a Gilmore Girls story every Monday. Bye now.
