My Escape : Kalpana

Krishna consciousness

Hare Krishna readers! I'm Akshita. Now don't think that this is another fictional book. I have 6 other upcoming books.

Here, it's a place where I will share about my journey through Krishna consciousness, how I became Krishna conscious, and what changes I felt.

First of all, I became Krishna conscious through Instagram. I never knew this even existed! And now I'm so deeply in love with Janardana that I can't explain.

And if you are confused why in the story “In His Time” the girl is named Akshita, it's actually my own story.

And the story was going slowly as I didn't had any time. I had boards from 21st February and it was so hectic. I'm so happy they came to an end.

Instagram is one of the cause I love Kanha ji and Shrimati Radha Rani. I remember the date I made the account, 29th December 2021.

I made 2 accidently, and later I started using both. Initially, its was for facts. But later it became a Sanatani one.

At first I wasn't aware of the chanting rounds and so I just used to chant Prabhu’s name. But later when I got to know about chanting I started doing that little by little.

Yet I couldn't complete one mala. It seemed hard for me to do among the busy schedule I had then.

I used to spent a lot of time writing fan fictions of the same one anime with me included. I never knew that it could become such an obsession over a short period of time.

1½ year of mine was spent with such bad things. Yet, Kanha didn't let me get too much spoilt. I knew that it was wrong but I just couldn't stop it. I tried doing it multiple times, but I was again pulled in by the Maya.

On my birthday of year 2022, I remember promising lord Krishna that I will try my best to restrict those thoughts. They weren't so weird if I say. All about dating etc. Never the worse thoughts.

I felt bad then for not keeping my senses in control. But from the first day of April 2023, I made sure to wake early and successfully removed those thoughts from my brain. Not perfectly, but little. Like I stopped writing more in the Doc file of Fanfictions.

Like 70+ Fictions. I hated myself for it to an extent. I did stop writing but I can't stop thinking about it all.

Then I July, I reopened the Doc file. Closed for months! And then again I got the habit to write in the Doc file. But I got the courage to delete that 80 pages Doc file in August. Hadn't I done that, I don't think I would have been so connected to Janardana.

And god I can't explain the feeling!

Like being connected to Kanha se such a exclusive feeling. Loving him with all your might is something a devotee should do. He helped me get rid of things I don't think I could have gotten rid of if he hadn't helped me of all people.

Like one, Panic attacks. If you have read my In His Time book, you must know that I used to get panic attacks from a young age. And the reason for it was “Overthinking”.

And you would be like why in the seven heavens is this a reason for Panic Attacks?

But let me explain everything. Let's start from the starting, and that's an simple YouTube video. Everyone has heard “Curiosity kills the Cat” thingy? That explains my situation very well. So, I was curious to see that what was my mother watching.

To solve the questions my sweet little innocent brain of a kid was asking me like a toddler, I peeked in to watch the thing.

And boom!