Double Jeopardy (SVU Fanfic)

10. Sleepless in Manhattan

"It's okay, My Love."

"But it's not." I was raped. And beaten. And left for dead.

*Olivia's POV*

She finally broke. I've been so scared for the past couple of days. My heart is breaking for her, but she needed to cry. She's going to start to cope.

She cries into her hands, oblivious to the painful black eye she still has. I wrap my arms around her and she leans into me with no objections.

I look up and see Amanda watching her. Nobody likes seeing Ellie cry. Ellie never cries. I was actually scared she would barely react to the rape.

After a little while, she's calmed down enough for talking. Amanda sits on the other side of the couch. Ellie positions herself so she's perpendicular to me, legs over my lap, so she can see both of us.

"What happens now?" she asks.

"We hunt down the bastards who did this to you and you accept and cope with it," Amanda says.

She nods, holding tight to the blanket around her small body. It bothers me how skinny she is, even though I know she's perfectly fine. Maybe it's because I know she could either put this all behind her or take her feelings out on something else.

Knowing I was gonna do this at some point, whether it be for her sweet 16 or when she leaves for college, I figure now is the best time. I reach behind my neck and unclasp my "Fearlessness" necklace and put it around my daughter.

"Why?" she asks, lifting her hand to touch the word.

"I've had it for as long as I can remember. It helps, El. And remember it's a piece of me."

It's so much more than that. As soon as I had Ellie, I had a feeling that things would be alright. I didn't grasp the necklace, rubbing the letters with my thumb every time I got scared. It transferred into my daughter. I did everything for her with no question. Now she needs a little placebo.

*Ellie's POV*

I don't get why she gave me this. It helps her through everything. I've gotten through anything stressful without any sort of charm.

Maybe it's just a thing she's always wanted to do. I smile and let her hug me, against all that I'm feeling.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Until your ankle is better," Amanda states. "I don't want you walking the streets like that." It's a lie; she doesn't want me walking the streets period, anymore.

"Okay," I say, forcing the heat behind my eyes to cool. I don't want to go back home. My house is boring as hell. Amanda's is no different, honestly, but it just seems more fun. But, then again, I miss my mom. A lot. Even when I hang out at the precinct I don't see her much.

Mom takes my bag of necessities - phone, laptop, chargers - and helps me out to the car. I have clothes at home still, so this is all we need for now.

When I walk into my actual home, it feels so much different. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I've been used to Amanda's.

It's not that late so I go take a bath. As soon as I get in, I feel a layer of grime that wasn't there before. I scrub myself raw but it doesn't really help. I know I'll feel like this for a while, dirty. But I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

When I go to bed that night, Mom is with me. I don't want her to leave me, though I know she has to.

I feel my eyes forcing themselves shut as the need for sleep takes over. She's holding my hand and touching my head. Before I know if, I've drifted off.