Unnoticed.

two.

2012.
" Katie wake up, you're going to be late! "
" yeh mom, jeez, I'm already awake" , I said kinda grouchy.. I didn't like getting up early in the morning, especially not when I have to because I have to go to school, guess we all have that. As I was still laying in my bed I thought about how getting up would mean facing my responsibilities, and if there was anything I didn't feel like doing today, it was facing my responsibilities. 

But, when I finally got up, got dressed and went downstairs , I saw that my stepfather had already left. which, no matter how weird it might sound, was an great relieve for me. Finally, no early-morning-arguments. I didn't want to go to school, but  of course; I had to. My mom gave me my breakfast and my lunch for school. I gave her a goodbye kiss and went outside, I saw that Lunaze was already waiting for me and I said hi. Lunaze was my best friend. We had a lot in common and we shared everything together. We liked the same bands, the same clothes, the same guys and we even shared our favorite flavor of Jellybeans. I couldn't go a day without her and I was so thankful to have her in my life. As we cycled away we started to talk about our homework and the test we had today. I also gave her my breakfast, because I wasn't planning on eating anyway, and I knew she didn't have had the time to eat. 

When we arrived at school we were, as usual , too late. A soft sigh escapes my mouth as I put my jacket in my locker. The moment I locked it again I saw Lunaze walking my way. " Ugh, I don't feel like going to German right now. " I sighed again and instead of walking through the cafeteria , we walked to the toilets. "Let's... stay here? Let's just not go. "  I nodded my head and a little smirk appeared on my face.

Once we were in the bathroom, Lunaze saw that there was something bothering me. "what's up ? " she asked, right away.  I looked at her, and I saw her worried face.. I couldn't help but feeling bad, I immediately looked away, and watched myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. And I'm not just talking about my looks.. I had terrible dark circles underneath my eyes and my skin was very, very pale. paler than it normally was. " I'm just tired " I said. You know, just the common excuse every one uses every once in a while. " no you're not. I know that's not it. " I turned around , and looked at Lunaze again. I felt kinda guilty for not being honest.. Lunaze was my best friend, and I just simply didn't want her to be worried about me because, well, she already has enough trouble to deal with herself.. but I had to tell her, she asked, and , well let's be honest, I had to tell somebody what was bothering me and I wanted to be honest.. and Lunaze was the only one I trusted.. 

 " I  just can't stand it anymore. " she immediately knew what I meant and she sighed " what did he do ? " "Tom is just acting like an asshole. I just can't take it how he acts and.. ugh the constant fighting and such makes everything so hard. And then school.. My grades suck.. like.. really bad. And I can't do anything about it because I just can't study at home and.. " I suddenly felt  my anger turning into anxiety. I had that sudden fear that we'd get caught of truancy. This was the first time we skipped a lesson and it was weird, it just gave me a weird feeling that there might happen something, which would make my problems even worse.

But, Lunaze and I both didn't had the courage to go away just because we knew that they had seen us arrive.Tthere were cameras so that'd mean that íf we would go they'd see it. So we decided to stay in there 'till break started, which would be at the end of this lesson. We put on some music and talked about a lot of things. Lunaze and I never got bored of hearing each others problems and stories over and over again, in fact, we shared everything and nobody could ever come between us. Lunaze was my one and only friend, and I couldn't even think of a better friend than she was. When the bell rang we immediately walked out of the school bathroom and into the crowded hallway. I couldn't help but wanting to fade away. The people here didn't like us because we weren't like the rest nor did we ever even try to fit in anyway. Yes, we surely  weren't like the rest, nor did we want to be like them. We walked some more times around in the big, boring and crowded school. I could just feel how the eyes of all those other students were focused on us. I could just feel how they were all looking at us. I looked at the screen of my phone and I turned  the music a bit louder, as I always did when I didn't want to know what was going on around me. I couldn't stand the people in here. nobody , except for Lunaze. 

Even though my music was on full volume I could still hear them saying things to us '' Miss Piggy '' '' ugly emos '' were they really too stupid to think of anything else ? couldn't they just hit me ? i'd have hurt less and the pain would be temporary, the words they say seem to hurt forever, the pain never seems to go away. For some reason, their words seem to be on replay in my head and I can't seem to pause it.. ''You two are seriously the ugliest people I've ever seen, why don't you two just cut yourself, or even better, each other to death? '' a soft sigh escaped my mouth and I looked at Lunaze, knowing she couldn't deal with the words that were just said. I could see how every time they said something such as this, she believed it. It was easy for me to see her beauty but definitely not for her. She could only see what they told her ; an imperfect person, a failure..   But she wasn't , she was perfect. She was the prettiest girl I knew and ever since I can remember, I've always been jealous of her.  When I first saw her in primary school,  I was jealous right away. The saddest part was that no matter how many times I tried to tell her how special she is to me, and many other people.. she wouldn't believe me.

It seems like these completely white walled hallways were endless, and when I finally arrived the end of the long straight path, there was another one.. and another one.. and another one.. Every step made me feel like somebody drew me further and further into the world of self hate, sadness and stress. I didn't want to stay here, I wanted to leave..

 but how ?