fade into you | shubman gill x ishan kishan

flowers pt2

ishan woke up exceptionally early that morning, considering he didn't get to sleep until after midnight yesterday. his other friends left his house sometime around 11, and shubman and ishan had holed up in his house, washing dishes, with a soft bollywood song playing in the background, chatting about all the years they had missed out on. shubman had told him about how he was lost after high school, pressured by his parents to join uni, stuck doing a course he hated. he told him about how he decided to quit his first year, and play cricket. ishan remembered how insane shubman was over cricket when they were growing up. ishan knew that if it was after four pm, and shubman was no where in sight, he would be down at the oval, practising by himself or playing with his friends. ishan, although he still wouldn't admit it to shubman, would take his bicycle down somedays to the oval, and watch him, with his arms glistening with sweat, his back muscles flexing in an unreal way. the corners of his mouth curved up with a smile as shubman recounted the way he dropped out of uni, started playing for bihar and had a great year in domestic, before he got selected for the national team three months ago. he told him how angry his parents were, but how they saw how happy shubman was and decided to let it go for the better (and if ishan took note of how shubman expertly avoided talking about his sister, it was no body's business)

shubman left a little after 3, ishan physically exhausted from the day, but his heart still thumping noisily whenever the other got too close. shubman had leaned over him to grab the dishwashing liquid off the top shelf, as per ishans request, and the feel of shubmans chest pressed against his back almost made him feral. like he was 16 again.

as shubman had made his way to the door, the tension between them transpired, a part of the older boy considering asking him to stay behind. to sleep by his side, after four years. but it was too much, too soon, too dangerous, so he forced his lips shut and let shubman walk out the door, his own eyes sparking with care.

so, the morning came, ishan up at 8, ready wearing a short sleeved button up and white pants, waiting for the bell to ring at 12, like shubman had promised. he put on an old show, but he was too busy daydreaming to care what was happening, because what type of flower would shubman bring him? what would he wear? was ishan too dressed up for a casual coffee date? was he wearing enough cologne? his mind kept him busy, a nervous eye on the clock, as it ticked to 12. then 1. then 2. and then 8pm.

ishan had not moved from his seat on the couch. in the 8 hours he was sitting there, the show he was watching had ended, but he couldn't move. where was shubman, and why wasn't he here? ishan felt like beating himself up, for getting so excited about something that obviously meant so little to the other boy. he wondered if through the last four years, shubman had grown that accustomed to living without him, that he didn't even remember him. he felt like an idiot, as he finally got off his couch and went to bed, suddenly exhausted.

the sound of loud banging on his door woke him up, horribly groggy, and angry about the day before, he got out of bed, cursing as he saw the time. 3 am. as he swung the door open, prepared to throw profanities at whoever was on the other end, he stopped in his actions. it was shubman.

it was shubman, he was looking down, with a bouquet of baby breaths in his hands. ishan noticed how his hands were shaking.
'shubi?' ishan asked softly
shubman didn't respond, holding the flowers up. ishan tentatively took the flowers.
'shubman, where did you go?' he asked, a bit more stern this time. he couldn't give in so easily, not without. a proper explanation.
'pl-please don't be mad at me. please let me make it up to you, i promise, i wont be late ever again. please, don't hit me. pl-'
'shubman?' ishan almost yelled. he couldn't believe the words coming out of the youngest mouth. why was he talking like this?
that is when ishan took a proper look at him. he had been too blinded by anger to notice the bloody nose, the bruises on his neck. the red ears. and the infamous, long deep scratches on his arms.
'come in.' he ushered softly, trying to keep calm. he wanted to scream at shubman, demand him to tell him who did this, to explain everything, but he couldn't. because shubman was standing at his door, looking like a lost kitten in the rain, and ishan just wanted to hold him and tell him it was okay.

shubman obliged, slowly making his way to the couch. ishan noticed how he walked with pain, as if moving hurt. he felt tears prickling at the back at his eyes, his anger he had towards shubman increasing by a million, to become the anger towards whoever did this to him. ishan put the tulips shubman gave him on the counter. he noticed blood on them, as he made his way to shubman, crouching in front of him.
'tell me what happened shubi' he whispered, wiping the tears making their way down the youngest face.
shubman choked out a sob, pulling on his white sleeves absently.
'i-my sister sh-she had thes-these men come and they beat me up when i was coming here and they took me to a abandoned house and they-' shubman stopped, breath getting more and more uneven
'th-they hurt me' he finally whispered. ishans eyes widened, his hand absently going to hold shubmans waist, but shubman flinched away harshly. ishan almost cried out, his heart sinking

'i-i'm sorry, i ddint mean to, i just didnt- i didnt like it and i was so scared and i kept screaming and i tried to push them off ishan, i-i promise but there were five of them and they wouldn't stop'
ishan couldn't breathe. everything hurt. everytime shubmans red, tear brimming eyes met ishans, full of hurt and apologies, it felt as if shubman was tearing into his heart.
'i meant to be here on time- i even- i even left my house 30 mins early so you wouldn't have to wait' shubmans head drooped 'i'm so sorry' he whispered
'shubi' ishan said as calmly as he could 'i don't care about the flowers or cofee. i mean i do, because it was really nice of you, but i would much rather you be safe baby' he whispered back. 'tell me everything'
and so shubman told ishan. he told him how shahneel had found out shubman liked boys from his classmate, and did horrible things to him, blackmailing to tell his parents if he didn't do it. she would hit him, and he would take all of it, because he was scared he'd be found out. ishans mouth was almost agape, as he got the first aid kit and started tending to shubmans wounds. he moved carefully, hoping not to give shubman anymore pain that he was already feeling.

shubman told him about how sometimes shahneel would pour hot wax on him, or pinch him until he bled. ishans was fully crying now, shocked as to how he never noticed anything until now. shubman assured them that it was always in places that were covered. as ishan made his way to his arms, he looked up at the younger boy, as a silent question.
'it was the only way i could control my body. those were the only wounds i could create on my own' he replied, his tone embarrassed.
ishan sucked in a breath, trying to compose himself as he wiped the alcohol into the scratches. shubman winced loudly, and ishan grabbed him hand on instinct. he immediately flinched back, as if shubman was fire.
'sorry. sorry- i wont touch you. i didn't mean to-'
'you can' shubman replied softly 'always felt safe with you'
ishans eyes widened, as he understood the weight of this trust. he promised himself he would never break it.

after ishan had cleaned his wounds, they say their in silence, taking in the weight of shubmans words. ishan knew shubman would never be the same after this. he would never be the 16 year old boy he fell in love with. but ishan didn't care, because frankly, he loved this shubman more. that's what swirled in his mind as he drifted off to sleep, with shubmans comforting presence finally with him.

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i'm not too good at emotions but i tried my best! do you guys wants a part three for this, or from far away? i will update the last part for whichever of these stories you want first, on saturday hopefully. thank you, and don't forget to comment and vote!