fade into you | shubman gill x ishan kishan

tales of tears

shubman watched ishan sitting in the outfield, moments after going out for duck. shubman concentrated at much as he could, as it was his debut game as captain, but part of his mind was on the older, who was sitting underneath the chairs. he stole sneaky glances as ishan smiled and joked with tilak and david, but he look right past ishans facade. he knew his best friend hadn't played for months, and he knew how crucial this game was to his morale. and he didn't miss the way ishans whole face and body dropped the second his catch was taken. he decided the second the match was over, he'd console him, and make him realise that his self-worth didn't rely on one game.

shubman had won!! a flurry of emotions coursed through his veins, his friend and his family squirming around him the whole night. he was elated, so glad that he proved to everyone that doubted him that he was capable of pulling it off. his cheeks hurt from the grin he had been holding all night, but disappeared when he realised that he hadn't seen a certain 5'6 boy with pearl necklaces was missing from the celebrations. shit.

he called nehra ji, letting him know that he would be going to the mi camp for the night, which the coach did not mind at all, just happy with his teams performance. shubman glanced at the clock. just over midnight. he just hoped ishan hadn't gotten too into his own head before he got there.

rohit and bumrah stood in the alley of the hotel, deep in conversation about something, as shubman hurridly passed them.

'bhai, where is ishans room' he asked, voice panicky
rohit caught on by the look on shubmans face
'kya hua bacche? sab theek?'
'nahi bhai. ishan got out for duck. i want to be with him right now' he breathed out.
rohit and bumrah shared a knowing smile. the look on shubmans eyes, as if the world was about to cave down if he didn't get to the older right now was too obvious to everyone else except the boy in front of him. rohit wanted to grab him by the shoulders and try to shake some sense into him
'third room on your right' he said instead.
shubman gave the pair a small smile, before dashing off.
'damn, if he was moving this fast on the field we wouldn't have stood a chance' bumrah said, whistling.

shubman knocked on the door hurridly
'ish? it's me, open the door'
a long pause. then a gruff, come in
shubman hesitated for a moment. he had to be prepared for ishan, however he was right now. after ten years, shubman had learnt that ishan said things that he didn't mean when he was upset, and you can not talk back or talk sense to him in his states. he would just have to shower his love, and whether ishan laughed or cried, he would be right there with him throufh it.

he pushed the door open. to find ishan sitting on the bed, playing fifa. shubman let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, grinning and walking towards him.
they fell into a comfortable silence, both content jusg playing together, before ishan said
'how were the parties today?'
'they were nice, but you didn't show' he said. ishan didn't need to reply to know the younger was pouting.
'yeah, i didnt feel like it'
shubman sighed, putting his controller down
'ish, you can talk to me about anything. i know you're probably upset-'
ishan scoffed. 'yeah well. i deserve to be upset'
shubman frowned. 'don't be silly ishan. it was one match-'
'you don't need to be so nice. you can gloat.'
shubmans frowned deeper. why was ishan saying these things?

'ishu. put the controller down. please' he whispered
ishan sighed, running a hand through his hair. when he finally looked at shubman, his eyes were heavy, hurt screaming through them. shubmans own eyes softened.
'listen. i understand you're upset. but i promise you, i KNOW you will bounce back better. ipl is such a long tournament and you'll have so many more opportunities-'
'THATS what you dont understand shubman!' ishan erupted, throwing the controller on the bed
'i DONT have many more opportunities. this is not one match. i havent performed in MONTHS. i haven't PLAYED in months! this is my only shot in proving i can do it! and i fucked it up. i fucked it all up' he whispered, sitting back down on thw floor, picking on the carpet. 
'i don't expect you to understand. you're captain.. you're gonna go on to great things. you're the prince. you're all set'
shubman felt like his heart had been pierced. but ishan just continued, oblivious to the growing heavy eyes of the boy in front of him.
'you make me feel worthless, i'm sick of being compared to you. i just wish i'd never met you.'
shubman let out a single sob. he was used to ishans harshness and negativity when he was upset, and he was prepared for an outburst, but ishans words hurt. they hurt like a bitch. for ishan to blame him for all the hurt he had been harbouring, to think his successes were affecting the older so negatively, it made shubman want to give up everything and just climb into his bed forever.
not wanting to be in front of the older anymore, shubman dashed out of the hotel room. the final nail in the coffin came when he realised ishan hadn't tried to stop him.

—-• • •—-
pt 2 coming very soon!