Cliche? Yea. |A Percy Jackson Comedy|

Untitled Part 1

Percy Jackson, multiple times savior of Olympus (who btw don't really give a shit about him and would readily vote to send him to Tartarus if Zeus ever raised that topic) was coming back from . . . well you know where he was coming back from. Probably after doing Athena's multiple quests to get Annabeth's hand in marriage. 

Sorry bruh. You got bad luck. 

So, Percy has a nice ring, which we all already know is very costly and probably made by Hephaestus. (Go costly, go break your heart)

There's a new kid in camp. A kid of either Poseidon or Zeus (Everyone knows Hades is too respectable to cheat on Persephone again). A brat, and a complete dick.

First time Percy met the kid, he scanned him with his scrutinizing eye and declared, "You are just going to turn the whole camp against me, probably go and snog with Annabeth and do shit that sends me to Tartarus or Artemis' camp." 

The kid nodded. 

Due to plot convenience Percy forgot that piece of conversation. 

The kid's name was Ethan? James? Whatever. It's a dick's name. Nobody needs to remember that cuz at the end of the story, he will be dead. No respect for this dead guy. Go fuck yourself. 

So, coming back to the current plotline, Percy was walking through the woods, when all of a sudden he gets a random sudden tip-off from someone (who finds special joy in informing Percy that his girlfriend is kissing someone else, but whatever) that Annabeth was kissing that new kid who was going to die at the end of the story (Shortened form: wwgtdateots). 

Now Percy goes and finds out the two of them who were kissing each other, and the new kid wwgtdateots (I'm not not going to type the whole thing again) decides that now would be the perfect time to ask Annabeth when she was going to break up with Percy. The word 'Percy' is omitted and instead its 'sea spawn', but Percy clearly understands that he was the sea spawn (courtesy of his father) and gets to the place, very very angry. 

Percy + very very angry = lots of tsunamis + destruction = him in Mt. Olympus = Zeus being like 'get this kid to Tartarus again'

 OR 

Percy + very very angry = lots of tsunamis + destruction = him in Mt. Olympus = Zeus being like 'get this kid to Artemis' hunt' (for some reason, the man hating goddess who never needed a man in his life, all of a sudden needed one to guard her hunters who btw could very well kick his ass and hand it over back to him. . . multiple times. But we won't get to that because its just the cruel work of the fates).

Whatever the case, Percy is hopefully smart enough to know that Tartarus is equivalent to Artemis. Hopefully being the key word. For the sake of our story, as we want Percy to suffer even more than he is supposed to, we divide Percy into 2. Let's name them PercyA and PercyB. Now we send PercyA into Tartarus, where he goes quite dramatically, beating Zeus at his own game, after his father randomly disowning his useless son who just randomly happened to save Olympus a mere few hundred times. Nothing that a useless mortal idiot couldn't do. Also as it happens Percy somehow knows that his mom (All praise Queen Sally whose blue cookies are going to take over the world) and her current husband Paul had died in a car accident, most probably caused by a monster or that kid wwgtdateots. 

Why is the full form of date = die at the end, though? No idea. Moving on.

PercyB is sent to live with Artemis and her hunt, as if living with a man-hating goddess and her group of man-hating youth club was condolences for her break-up with that random girl with whom Percy took a nice chilling break in Tartarus. (Guess PercyA has to do the same thing again.) Artemis protests a lot, but at the end of the day, she is a daddy's girl and has to go forward with the whole ordeal.