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It's pretty late now. Almost everyone has already left the company to go home. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here because I couldn't concentrate all day and made many mistakes to "Siren". It's a hard choreography, and on top of that, she still hasn't left my mind. I'm also lowkey disappointed with myself because even after months, I still make mistakes to that song. I don't know what's wrong with me for the past few days... like, I know that she's my problem, but is it really just her?
I was practising non-stop without a break. I repeated this song over and over again to the point that I'm starting to ACTUALLY listen to the lyrics. I don't usually listen to the lyrics, I only know my parts, and that's it. I just never cared to understand the meaning behind any song, and since I'm not in a position to talk, I couldn't care less, I'm a visual, and my position is to sit and be pretty. It's just a typical thing every SM visual has to go through.
A few more repeats, and I decided to sit down on the floor, too tired to sit on the couch. I just started to stare into my reflection in the mirror without a thought in my head. All I want to do is go home and sleep even if I'm starving. That's what K-pop is about... being so tired to death and on top of that having no energy because you're hungry, yet people still think it's okay.
Before our debut, I was told to watch what I eat and to go on a diet, I nodded but fuck that. I'm not starving myself to death, I came here to sing and perform, not to be your fucking model. That's what models are for, and I'm a singer.
The door suddenly opened, and my eyes met her dark brown ones through the mirror. I miss her, but I know that I deserve better. I know my worth.
I turned my sight on myself again, not in the mood to even stand up to greet my sunbaenim.
"What did you do with her?"
What happened to hello? My name is?
She went straight to the point.
Alright then...
"Why do you care?" I said tiredly.
"That's none of your problems. Just tell me what you did to her?" She asked again, making me furrow my eyebrows at her rudeness.
So I kept quiet.
If she's rude, then I can be rude as well.
"Did you fuck her?" She asked again, realising that I'm not going to answer but she's stubborn so she pressures.
Silence...
She rolled her eyes and folded her arms to her chest. "You're such a dick, Beomjae!" She raised her voice a bit louder.
She's calling me a dick? She's a fucking dick, dude...
"You don't like it when I mirror your actions?" I asked innocently with a hidden smirk. I know she sees it, but oh well.
She angrily walked towards me, wanting to slap me, but she stopped when she realised what she was about to do.
All she could do was breathe furiously through her nose, clenching her jaw.
My smirk got bigger.
"You can't get enough of me, huh?" I asked.
Honestly... I wasn't lying.
If she's so in love with her boyfriend like she claims, she wouldn't be here, right? She would rather hang out with her boyfriend than come all the way to SM building and harass a person that was minor just a year ago.
"Don't be so full of yourself. I only came here to ask you one question, yet you're being a little brat. Is it so hard to answer a simple fucking question?" She asked, trying to calm down but every look at me made her angrier and angrier.
While I enjoyed myself.
This got me thinking... have I finally moved on???
Just a few months ago, I would've never imagined that I would be talking in such a tone with the love of my life...
I stand up because I'm thirty.
She just stared at me, expecting an answer.
I can't give her that. I have to annoy and irritate her even more so she can't stop thinking about me like the way I can't stop thinking about her.
I chugged down the water bottle, still feeling a bit thirty, but this is all the water I have taken with me, so I guess I will have to go buy some more on my way home. I threw the bottle into a trash can all while she's still standing there, not giving up.
While my back was turned to her she took the time to come closer to me and when I turned around to face her, she was so close that I could smell her beautiful perfume that never failed to make me go crazy.
We stood there quietly, waiting for one of us to do something.
Her eyes then left mine and travelled down to my lips as she uncontrollably bit hers with want, and within a blink of an eye, her lips were already on mine.
She didn't move for a second, testing me if I'm going to pull away. I didn't. So she started moving slowly and gently as if she's afraid to hurt me... as if she didn't want to slap me a few minutes ago, but since she's sexy I will forgive her.
She wants me.
She wants me.
She wants me.
She wants me.
She wants me.
And this is the proof, right???
Wait—
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk
I'm in love with her again!
Was I ever even out of love? Fucking fuck, I don't fucking know! I've never been in love and I can't even ask anyone except Wonyoung but she's not much of a help because she always wants to fuck me.
A few minutes later, she pulled back with a smirk while I felt out of control as if I had just got pulled in by a siren.
"Try ignoring me again, and I'll punish you okay, baby?" She asked quietly and softly.
SHE IS MANIPULATIMG ME!
I nod.
She started caressing my cheek with her left hand while the other one was behind my neck. "If I ever find out that anyone has ever touched what's mine, then you can already consider them dead." She said again, but this time into my ear, biting my earlobe afterwards, making me get goosebumps all over my body as my breath hitched.
"Now go home, take a shower, and I will be expecting you at my door at 1AM, okay? Be a good boy for me, hm?" She continued, then breathed exotically into my ear.
I nod again. Completely out of my mind.
"You're so cute when you listen." She kissed my lips one more time and left, leaving me confused, thoughtless, lowkey horny and did I say confused?
What the actual fuck happened?
It felt like I had just made a deal with the devil.
